Mrs. Oliver & Company

preschool pictures

2011-12-01T15:08:00.002-06:00

My little sweeties in their 4 year old class, 3 year old class, 1 year old class.

She knows how...

2011-11-29T19:00:00.001-06:00

...to make me feel better. How can a four-year-old know? Not just a smile or a dance or a joke- all things she can easily do to turn my frown upside down, but to truly change the state of my mood?

I was in a "mood" and was in tears...a state that I mostly try not to do in front of my daughters but sometimes I can't help it. Worried, Baylor ran to me carrying a picture frame of me and my husband's engagement photo, "This will make you feel better!". Next, she ran to the Christmas Tree and pulled down her handmade ornament with last year's school picture, "or this!". By then, I was already smiling, but it was when she ran to the couch, got on her knees, put her hands together, and silently prayed for me, that I knew whatever "mood" I had been in would forever be erased from my memory and replaced by this sweet moment!

November

2011-11-15T21:13:00.001-06:00

I guess I lost interest in blogging recently? I know I'll look back on this hole left on my blog at some point and wonder what was going on in my life during that time. So, I guess it's time for somewhat of an update.

Baylor keeps a small prayer journal and LOVES writing in it. She is so compassionate and really does think of people's prayer needs without me web prompting her. I was praying with her about someone I don't even know, just the name or someone that had been passed on to me. I explained to Baylor that this lady was in jail but had recently been baptized and needed prayer. We had moved on from the subject later in the evening and Baylor asked "Could you take me to the jail to see her?" I told her I wasn't sure but wondered why she wanted to go. "to talk to her about God!". :). It's like she gets it - more than I do on most days. Her uncle came to see her a few days ago, and while he was talking to me, she brought him two slips of paper: one ob which she had written 'jeff' and the other 'pray'. She told him, "I'm praying for your, uncle jeff!"

Larin had the best weekend being all alone with her daddy while I took the other girls to Phoenix. It was a full weekend of one on one with just her and her dad. I don't think she really wanted that to ever end. It's so easy to make her happy! She is such a little peacemaker, and I know we will always need her around for that! :).

Mailey James gives us a run for our money on a daily basis. She's at the age when frustration really sets in because of lack of ability to communicate. BUT she gets prettier and prettier every day - her blue eyes are just breathtaking. She loves her sisters so much, and we could just eat her with a spoon. She is rough and tough and pretty much could take any of us!

Casey and I are in a new bible study this semester and are just in awe of the things God has done in our lives and the lives in our church. I feel so challenged right now to daily take up my cross, and I feel we are at a point in our lives where God is really growing us in His word. His timing is perfect. We feel so blessed by our church family right now and just feel very motivated to be doers or the word! So praise God for that!

My job is an absolute dream job, and I think my arm is bruised from how many times I've pinched myself over the last 12 weeks. I don't deserve one bit of it, but I am still so thankful for this passion inside me and this opportunity to share it.

My favorite holiday is almost here...Happy Thanksgiving!!!

speak. you have my attention.

2011-10-06T21:38:00.002-05:00

i don't know how single mothers do it? if god takes casey away from our family, i don't know how i'll manage...i can barely handle 72 hours without him.

the last few weeks have been pretty stressful. some hours are worse than others, but it seems there's a morning rush, an evening rush, and a time in the early night when i lose all energy and pretty much crash. does that sound like anyone else? you would think doing this day after day after day one would figure out what works and what doesn't, but each day seems to bring its own mountains.

but i'm learning more than ever in my life while climbing.

during this busy season, it seems casey and i have been dealing with communication issues. i'll say one thing; he'll think i mean another. he'll say something; i'll translate it to mean something else. it's like we speak a different language sometimes. i wish i had a wand i could wave to have an automatic closed caption above his head when he speaks. but, here's the kicker. we both seem to have our priorities straight. we both seem to be growing closer to god on a daily basis. shouldn't we be growing towards god together? shouldn't our communication be at its peak? but it's the opposite. i admitted this to our bible study group this week, and i just know that it's got to be a form of spiritual warfare, so if you would please pray for us.

so tonight, while casey is a couple hundred miles away, i'm wanting to speak with him so badly. not speak to- communicate with. no closed captioning needed. where we just know.

but i can't. my good-for-nothing-phone has decided that tonight it won't let me be heard. i can text, i can receive texts, and i can even receive phone calls and hear the caller, but i cannot be HEARD. so my articulate husband who loves me so much for no reason just called me after getting the "i can hear you but you can't hear me!" text and leaves me the sweetest "live voice mail" that brought me to complete tears.

i think god wants me to want to communicate. want to be heard and understood. without closed captioning.

go ahead, god. speak. you have my attention.

Larin turns 3!

2011-09-25T14:37:00.006-05:00

Life seems so busy right now! I don't like it that way...I don't like to be busy. Usually I feel like being busy means I don't have my priorities straight. Last weekend I think we were home a total of 20 hours or something like that? So here's just a quick update on what we've been doing so that I don't look back and completely forget this whirlwind of a month.

The girls and Casey attended Daddy-Daughter Date Night at our church. It was awesome! I got to be there to serve dinner, and it was so cute not only seeing my own husband and daughters but every other family there enjoying the special night. Seeing the daddies pray and dance and just be with their daughters was amazing!

Baylor went to "Big Cooper's" birthday party...He is much older than she, but she absolutely adores him. He and his dad helped her skate...it was precious.

Baylor & Larin snuggling on Baylor's actual birthday, September 14.

Lots of playing outside in this pretty weather.

My birthday girl...the big #3 on September 22! Her daddy took flowers to school just for her.

Larin's birthday evening finished off just the way she wanted- ice cream sundaes in the living room!

We took Baylor & Larin to The Promise. It was so weird how Baylor remembered almost everything from going last year. Even things we hadn't been talking about with her. At one point in the production when Mary cried because her son was on the cross, Baylor told her dad, "But why isn't she happy? I want him to die on the cross so he can forgive my sins!"

Larin with Jesus, who is also the worship leader at our church, but Baylor was still a little too scared to have her picture made with "Jesus".

Waiting for the show (it was the most gorgeous weather that night!)...

Baylor turns 4!

2011-09-14T21:14:00.004-05:00

My four-year-old woke up this morning and sat on the potty, crying in the dark bathroom. The first thing she said to me the morning of her birthday was, "I don't look like I'm four! I want to be five!" The tears quickly went away after pancakes with four bright candles at the breakfast table.

Later in the day, Baylor was in deep thought about being FOUR. "Now that I'm four, it's time I make my best choice." Having no clue what she meant by that, I asked her what she was talking about. "The best choice for my life! Like at Alyssa's quincenera...she had to make her best choice- the choice to follow God- it's now my turn!"

Something tells me FOUR is going to be a fun, fun year in this girl's life!

Birthday Fun Day

2011-09-10T22:26:00.005-05:00

We set aside today as a day to celebrate Baylor and Larin's birthdays (both coming up in the next two weeks) and we ended up having one of the best days ever! I'm exhausted as I type this, but I've got to write this down so the girls can look back on this special day.

6 AM: Dove hunting with Daddy

8 AM: Donuts and Pigs in the Blanket!

9 AM: Baylor first soccer "game"

10 AM: Starbucks patio with DeeDee & Gampi

10:30 AM: first ever haircuts! (Baylor has wanted to cut and donate her hair since she saw one of her sweet friends do it a few months ago. I kept saying "On your birthday..." hoping she'd change her mind or forget all about it, but she (and her dad) held me to it. She was such a big girl, and she LOVES her new do.

11:00 AM: Depart for Fort Worth

12:00: Lunch at Chili's (the waitress brough a brownie sundae and sang Happy Birthday to the girls...they were a little shy!) At lunch, Baylor broke out into song...the full chorus of "Everything That You Do" by Steven Curtis Chapman (LOVE that song). I was so impressed she knew the words (even I mess up on those lines because they're kind of fast), and at the part that says "to tell the story of grace" I asked her, "Do you know what the story of grace is?" She looked at me like I was asking the dumbest question ever, "Yeah, the story of Jesus and His forgiveness because He died on the cross for our sin!" Larin then added with a frown on her face, "Because we do bad things!"

2:00: ZOO! We saw a baby monkey with her mommy....they were so cute interacting together right up on the window! The mama monkey even pointed at us mimicking our pointing at them! It was so neat. While she was watching the mommy tickle her baby monkey, Larin said, "That mama loves her baby!!!" AW so true!! We mamas just love our babies, don't we!?!
4:00: Shopping trip

6:00: Surprise Party at Grumps! The girls walked onto the Grumps patio to see her family waiting for her with cake, balloons, and gifts! They were so surprised, a little confused, but so overwhelmed by love! Later on during a family picture, we were all saying cheese and Larin hollered out, "CELEBRATION!" That's what it was...all day...CELEBRATION!

2011-08-17T21:30:00.003-05:00

Every day I ask God to reveal himself to my daughters. Of course I see His work in their lives every single day, but I want them to see it, to know it, to trust it- all shaping their faith and preparing for their someday salvation.

Baylor woke up the other morning with the biggest smile on her face. Normally she will wake up excited about the day ahead, or excited about the outfit she wants to pick out, or just plain excited about life in general. (She has more energy than any child I know, and the girl loves to jump out of bed and get the day started.) Well, on this morning, her smile was different. She had her stuffed Toto (a souvenir from her trip to Casa Manana with her grandmother to see The Wizard of Oz). She held up Toto really high as if she was offering it up to the Lord, "GOD ANSWERED MY PRAYER!" she practically screamed at me! I looked at her perplexed wondering how Toto had anything to do with this, and she went on to explain, "Last night, I prayed to God that He would help me find my Toto because he was lost in the playroom. And this morning, I FOUND HIM! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????"

Yes, yes I can believe it. Because I know that God's blessings sometimes come in the form of a plush stuffed animal, and that even in the small things of our lives, He is there, showing us He cares. Revealing Himself to us. What she didn't know is that her finding Toto was actually an answerd prayer of mine. Baylor, years from now when hopefully you have a deep, personal relationship with the Lord, I want you to remember this simple but important answered prayer. The first of many from the One who made you.

nipples

2011-08-10T21:51:00.003-05:00

today i overheard my little girls playing "let me show you my nipples!" baylor wanted to know why she doesn't have any "big ones like larin", and larin wanted to know why hers "are brown". fearful of what i might find them showing each other, i turned around to see them comparing their...

FRECKLES!

no use crying over spilled crystal light...and milk

2011-08-04T14:34:00.005-05:00

i finally mopped my floors (and if you know me well, that's a huge deal because i don't do cleaning very well...in fact i don't do cleaning at all during the school year- yes, i'm spoiled when it comes to that). i'm not lying; within 12 hours, the bright, shiny, clean floor releasing the sweet smell of purple fabuloso (mmmmm love that smell) was ruined by the spill of first, an entire pitcher of crystal light, and second, an entire gallon of milk.

UGH!

it's in moments like this that i feel so inept. not just of a house cleaner, although i am terribly much so. but as a mother. because, you see, at the moment of both of these spills, i lost it. and i lost it in front of my eldest daughter. she saw me scream, saw me get frustrated, heard me complain. what kind of example am i? a horrible one! i mean, seriously, a spill (albeit a messy one) is going to make me lose my patience?

a few minutes after the milk spillage (which by the way, makes me more mad that i had just bought the darn gallon a few hours prior), baylor came to me for a refill of her cup. i exaggerated my smile and tried very hard to be cool, calm, collected. :) (i had just taken her aside and apologized for losing my patience and told her nothing is worth getting that upset about, and that i should have been praising god even in the messes! i think she understood, but she will never forget the image of her crazy mother in the kitchen yelling about some dumb spill!) anyway, as i filled up her cup i said, "sure thing, baby!" she responded in the most dramatic voice and with her arm extended in the air as if she were speaking to an audience, "the QUEEN has finally decided to be NICE!"

Celebration!*

2011-07-27T22:24:00.008-05:00

This day will always be remembered as a very special day, and it's not because of anything I have done or anything that I have created for myself...it's all because of HIM and HIS divine provision in my life. I want to remember it exactly lest I forget how to be patient in his timing. Warning: it's long and it's detailed yet it's everything I want to remember about this fun day.

Shortly before we found out we were expecting Baylor, I enrolled in graduate school to become what I had always revered as my "dream"- a librarian. While I was earning my degree and teaching and having three babies, the right position never seemed to come open. I never lost sight of it, even long after completing my degree and framing that piece of paper from the state that said "Lissa Oliver: School Librarian" , but as the years went on and no openings became available (coupled with the horrendous state of education finance and job cuts and all that) I kind of came to the conclusion that this may never happen. A few months ago I remember prayer journaling, "I'm OK with not being a librarian. I just want to be fully YOURS."

Yesterday I was on the phone with a dear friend planning something for church. As we talked about our plans, I'm pretty sure the words, "I can't wait to see what God does..." were coming out of my mouth when I saw the Oak Woods phone number beep in. I screamed, "I gotta call you back! That's about THE job!" It was the school's secretary asking me for an interview. Casey's started beeping in (calling to see if I had any news about the open position) so when I ended the convo with the secretary I beeped over and SCREAMED into the phone "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" only to hear the secretary hanging up. It wasn't Casey's ear I had just screamed in! I didn't care, I laughed it off!! God does have a sense of humor, you know!

Today, the morning of my interview, I was pumped as can be. During quiet time, God kept leading me to verse after verse about strength and courage and his unfailing love. Then there was the enemy, too. My kids were whining. MJ wouldn't let me put her down. I was scared my plans for a babysitter fell through. Larin peed her pants and it went everywhere on the floor and her clothes. Mailey James threw up all over herself (luckily missed my clothes. But that didn't matter because I spilled my make up on me in the car. Yeah, it was one of those kind of mornings. But I didn't care...I didn't care if I was getting this job or not...I was being granted the opportunity to interview, and that is all that mattered!

Walking into the school immediately felt like home to me (and not just because I attended grades 4-6 there). The principal was so easy to talk to, and I just felt at such peace. An hour and a half later I walked out of there with the library's keys in my hands and tears of joy streaming down my face! The rest of the day was filled with flat out praising the God who had answered my prayer. How awesome is it that the creator of this universe actual cares where I work? And I mean, why would he? It wouldn't be for my comfort or my pleasure! It has to be because of his plan and his purpose!

Why am I writing all this down? I realize this whole story is a very boring account of something that happens to people every day. It's a job. It's not your life. I realize that. Do I think your dream job really matters in life? Not at all. In fact, ironically, a radio station I follow on Facebook posted this question this morning: Would you give up your job to take a stand for Christ? Of course I would! In a sense, I kind of did. When I decided to recommit my life to Christ I decided to fully surrender. Die to myself. Does that mean my dreams go away? That I don't want certain things or set goals? Absolutely not. The difference is that I want him to be my giver of all things...my provider in all circumstances...my savior. I wouldn't want this job unless it came from him and was going to be for him! And after what has happened on this journey, I whole heartedly believe this was just his timing.

I want my girls to hear what I am saying loud and clear...someday they may find themselves in a situation where they've wanted something, worked for something, knew they had a God-given passion for something (which was my case with a library), prayed on end for something but didn't have an open door in front of them. Let go of it. Fully surrender. You can't control it, nor would you want to control it. You want it to come from him on his time and for his purpose.

I'm so glad he made me wait nearly five years for this. The sheer joy of this day. It was so well worth the wait!

*And in case I forget why I titled this post "Celebration"...the girls are obsessed with gum. We had to try to kick that habit, so we stopped it cold turkey. No more gum. Every day they still ask, "Can we have gum?" and every day we say, "NO! NO MORE GUM!" When the girls asked last night I finally said "YES!" (It was one of those moments when I'm sure they looked at me and thought I was the coolest mom ever!) "YES we can all have gum as a celebration tomorrow! A celebration if I get the library!" So, this afternoon they enjoyed their long awaited piece of gum with a huge smile. Larin shouted throughout the house, "It's a CELEBRATION!"

"sweet lamb of God...light of the world...holy one"

2011-07-20T15:37:00.005-05:00

My two older daughters love flipping through the pages of my childhood Precious Moments Bible. The "pink bible" they call it. There are illustrated pages throughout it that lead you to different verses. Larin opened to one of a little girl next to a lamb and they are both looking into a stream. Baylor pointed at it and said, "Look! Jesus the Lamb!" We turned to and read the verse the illustration was portraying (John 1:29 - Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world), and the look on Baylor's face was priceless. "It's kind of like how we are his sheep and He is our shepherd!"

Later in the day, I found Baylor writing on her dry erase board. She had written two words: her name (just perfectly) and underneath that, the word BIBLE. I smiled and told her how happy that made me. She asked, "Ok, how do you spell 'lamb'?"

little lissa

2011-07-18T08:52:00.003-05:00

two more reasons to add to the long list as to why my brother calls larin "little lissa":

1. as i was getting her yogurt ready for breakfast, she said, "mom, today i want cars yogurt. i LOVE cars yogurt. but don't tell dora!"

2. just as she was going to take a bite of her brownie (the most delicious night time snack along with a glass of milk) she looked at the brownie mischievously, "hello! nice to meet you!!"

she knows how to make eating FUN!

five years

2011-07-11T16:32:00.003-05:00

five years married...a lifetime to go!

we started dating at such a young age, and boy were there times we were tried to be broken apart. even when our eyes were not on Him, He still guided, directed, and guarded our courtship to keep us together (when a lot of people thought we wouldn't last) and prepared for us a life together through marriage.

it's weird to think that only a little over half of our marriage has been spent walking together in Christ. the first year or so of being married we spent kind of self absorbed and not responding to our salvation. i told casey the other night that despite that, the Lord has tremendously blessed us, even blessings that caused a little pain. i can't wait to see what a full five years of marriage, walking together, does for our faith.

i remember wanting to start a journal/scrapbook kind of thing to document how each anniversary was celebrated and later in our marriage we'd have a big ol book of descriptions and stories. that quickly became the same thing baby books have become for me- shoulda woulda coulda. i also wanted to always have a picture of us on the day of our anniversary. but how is that i can snap silly pictures of the kids all the livelong day but can never for the life of me get a shot of the two of us?

i love my husband so much more every single day i'm alive. have you ever though about how the bible begins and ends with marriage? it's such a gift from the Lord. happy anniversary, my casey james!

"I wanna love somebody, love somebody who's TWO!"

2011-07-09T12:10:00.005-05:00

We took the kids to the horse races last night...yes, I know that's an odd place to take your young family, but these girls absolutely love horses after watching the movies Secretariat and Seabiscuit the week of our family vacation. Larin was very disappointed that Secretariat was not at the races (and didn't understand why he wasn't), but they still had so much fun watching the horses race by.

A cool cover band was playing during the races, and the girls got at it on the dance floor. A stranger asked Larin to dance, and we couldn't believe this once shyer than ever girl actually said yes! The song the band was playing was Keith Urban's "Somebody Like You". We laughed and laughed when the lead singer changed the chorus throughout the entire song singing "I wanna love somebody who's TWO!" because of Larin and her dance partner!

buh-cation

2011-06-30T22:24:00.006-05:00

we've probably heard that word a couple hundred times over the last week! neither of our speaking daughters can seem to annunciate the V in VACATION, but it does bring a smile to my face to hear them say it! my generous in laws gave us a week of their timeshare and we put in for a little condo in the lake conroe area...short drive + lots to do + the fact i needed to be in houston anyway for my college roommates baby shower = buh-cation! the place was perfect for us! it was nestled on the golf course (casey forgot his clubs). we spent most of our time at the condo's pool, which was perfectly situated just below our balcony. we ate. a lot. we watched movies. we played outside (the heat wasn't too bad with all the shade from the beautiful trees). visited a small church in montgomery. went to the baby shower in houston. played at an aquatic park. went bowling. went to a petting zoo-type-place. shopped (this was the highlight of casey's week). ate dinner with friends. had friends over to the condo. played at a lot of different parks. visited a children's museum. ate lunch with friends. played at a lot of parks. hung out at the yacht club....

it was so sad to see them get upset about leaving! it was so nice to be able to give them both of our undivided attention all week...i guess they picked up on it, too. as we were leaving, they cried and cried. as she was crying and buckling up to leave, baylor said, "when i'm 20, can i move here to our condo?" casey and i know we'll look back on this (which is exactly why i'm blogging about it now) and miss the girls at this age. as much work as it is to pack up your kids' things to get away for a few nights, even if it is just 4 hours from your house, it is so worth it. true family time with true family memories. on the way home, casey joked about how easy it is to make them happy- a short getaway to a small condo, eating ice cream on the balcony, making beaded bracelets in the condo's dining room- all these things made them smile and laugh and have such a good time. he said the key is to keep it that way. so how do we do it? how do we keep simple family time the thing that makes our kids the happiest?

Mailey's 1st Birthday!

2011-06-27T14:50:00.008-05:00

I wanted to post this on her actual birthday, but things got a little crazy throwing a birthday party for the prettiest one-year-old I know and then heading out for a week long vacation the next morning. On Friday, June 24, MJ turned one! We had our family over to eat dinner and celebrate. It was a lot of fun to watch her play with her sisters and cousin and grandparents.

It was such a fun night! She opened a few presents, ate a lot of the special cake one of her grandmothers made for her, played hard on the slipnslide, and of course got very sleepy at the end of it all!

Mailey James, your first year went by so incredibly fast. We blinked and you turned into our little toddler. You are such a feisty little thing...you know exactly what you want and when you want it, and our prayer is that turns into a girl on fire for God!. You're beautiful inside and out. He created you so special with your beautiful curly hair and your clear blue eyes and your wild heart! We're so lucky to call you our daughter, and we love you so much!

enough!

2011-06-23T11:14:00.008-05:00

i was brutally attacked by the panic yesterday...for no particular reason, just a bunch of different things came together at one point that made me physically lose it while i was making lunch for the kiddos in the kitchen. as all panic attacks are for me, it was an out of body experience where i could see myself from a different person's point of view. what's wrong with her? she is crazy! she's really lost it! she needs help!

it's summer. i have absolute freedom. i have nowhere specially to be. nothing specifically to do. i have a pretty much open schedule with endless resources to be with and enjoy my family, but I STILL lose it. well, i've had enough, and not one more minute of my summer will this anxiety steal. these words came to me during my morning run.

that's enough!
there's room for no more
literally losing
my breath (and sanity)
here on the kitchen floor.

that's enough!
it's a waste of my day
constantly losing
my patience (and grip)
over messes and noises or things that they say.

that's enough!
no more can it steal!
the reality is that i'm
missing out
on (my) precious moments that make ~~this~~ my life real.

HE'S enough!
and in him, there's freedom to be had!
this anxiety (over nothing) can never beat
the constant rejoicing and sharing and praising that transforms
an anxious heart- forever made glad.

distractions

2011-06-21T15:24:00.005-05:00

the most priceless of moments have happened on our living room floor during family bible study. this morning, though, we no one could seem to shake the distractions. one daughter couldn't stop playing with her zu zu pets who were joining us for study (and when one of them went off all by itself during our prayer, it made the girls giggle so much that we all got sidetracked). one daughter had her eyes and her mind glued to the leftover muffin on the kitchen counter that she wasn't allowed to finish until study was over. and the other daughter wanted to make the most of the opportunity when everyone older than her had their eyes closed during prayer and she could sneak a chew of the remote. and the mother was distracted by the passing time on the clock, knowing the family would be late to where they were going next, and the long list of things to do to get them packed and loaded into the car.

i caught myself getting frustrated with all three of these daughters and even with myself that we couldn't set aside just a few moments to worship together without distraction. there i was getting angry at the zu zu pet. angry at the muffin. angry at the remote that got thrown to the ground and too close to the baby. angry that i hadn't started the study earlier knowing i would be pressed for time later. all these things took away my focus thus taking away my undivided attention (and devotion for that matter) from the very reason why we join together in our living room in the first place.

distractions. how disappointing must it be for our god to watch us play with our zu zu pets, think about our muffins, desire the remote as a chew toy, or watch the clock and make to-do lists in our minds when what we should really being focusing on is HIM.

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T18:17:00.004-05:00

One of my first times to be around Casey was when we were teenagers and he was playing with the small children in his church. In watching him, I knew then how good of a dad he would make someday, but I never dreamed he would be what he is for our daughters today.

We became parents much sooner than we would have planned. Not that I would change that for the world. God's timing was perfect because He knew what it would take to bring us back to Him. Parenthood ultimately brought both of us back to our First Love that once burned bright and clear in both our childhoods but slightly faded away in the teenage and college years. It was shortly after we became parents that we knew full surrender to Christ would be the only way to be live our crazy life, and I praise God today for giving us our daughters and bringing us to that point- the crossroads in our faith. There's a list of bazillion reasons why my Casey is an amazing father, but the #1 thing on that list is that he is deeply in love with his own Father. There is nothing I would want more for my daughters than a dad who spiritually leads the family.

One day, I hope my daughters read this post, maybe many Father's Days from now, and can testify that it was their daddy who gave them everything they needed- not material things, but spiritual things. That it was their daddy who modeled for them what a godly man should look like and what they should expect from their husbands someday. That it was their daddy who showed them how to love God. That it was their daddy who led them to the Lord.

And maybe, on that day, they can watch this video again and be able to laugh at "Dad Life".

Happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads out there, living for and loving the Lord.

Dad Life Rap from StoneWater Church on Vimeo.

2011-06-09T21:16:00.002-05:00

Me: Girls, is there anything you have been worrying about that you want to hand over to God so you can stop worrying?

Baylor: Yeah, I've been real worried about going to jail.

Me: Why are you worried about that?

Baylor: I heard that if people who believe in Jesus go to jail.

Me: What do you mean?

Baylor: Well, there's Paul. He went to jail because he believed in Jesus.

a few minutes later...

Me: Ok, is there anything you want to confess and ask God for forgiveness?

Larin: YES! Baylor pushed Remy in the dirt!!!!

Baylor: Yes, I did that. I need forgiveness.

Me: Ok, that's good, but Larin, what is something you need to be forgiven for?

Larin: Um, Baylor pushed Remy in the dirt!!!!

Turtle Day

2011-06-07T14:42:00.006-05:00

We finally got the pet turtle we've been promising the kids for the last month or so! The pet store in town never had any, and even Pets Mart didn't sell them as small as we wanted, so we almost resorted to buying one online (that's just weird), but then a friend of mine bought two and didn't want them, so it all worked out perfectly in the end (can you say, run on sentence?).

When I picked them up from my friend's house, she said, "One is really playful, loves to be out and about, but the other is kind of to itself and would rather be left alone..." I'm thinking to myself...hey, that's perfect for two older girls...one turtle to match each of their personalities.

Baylor's first reaction at holding them was priceless.

Larin wasn't as excited to hold them.

They named them Bevo and Texas. I wonder where they got that?

And what does MJ think of the new family pets? Well, after finding her on the back patio this morning with the glass lid of the tank broken on the ground and two huge rocks from the tank in her mouth, I'm guessing she's already pretty well acquainted with them, too! ;)

little miss piggy

2011-06-05T21:01:00.003-05:00

each of our girls has a nickname that came from their newborn looks. baylor's is "little critter" because she reminded me of the animal from the little critter books. mj's is "little foot" because of her purplish birthmark that reminded us so much of the beloved long neck character. and larin's is "little miss piggy" mainly because of her cute, turned up nose, but she proved to live up to her name in more ways than one!

yesterday when she woke up from nap, the first thing she said to me was, "mommy, can i have a snack?"

this morning in her bed the first thing she said when casey sat next to her, "daddy, what are we eating today?"

this evening as we had a family affair of deep cleaning casey's truck when i found a quarter and gave it to her, "mommy, can i use it to buy candy?"

like mother like daughter!

Sharing Spaces

2011-06-03T07:32:00.003-05:00

One thing I love about my three girls sharing a bedroom:

Yesterday after their nap, I went in to get the three babies who were anxious for their promised after-nap-swim. Mailey James was standing up, looking out of her crib. Baylor and Larin were cuddled up in their full bed, their heads on one pillow and their legs entangled. I went to get May J first. She smiled at me, revealing her swollen gums and jagged baby teeth and cooed, "Ma Ma!" Then, just as I pulled her out of her crib, she pointed to Baylor and said, "Bay Bay!" The girls loved it, and Larin's giggling about it caught Mailey's attention and then Mailey pointed to her and said "Lay!" (Now, it wasn't a distinct L sound, but we all knew what she was trying to say!" We all four laughed and laughed and even MJ was proud of herself at that moment.

One thing I don't love about my three girls sharing a bedroom:

Mailey James almost interrupted my morning run today. From 6 - 6:30 AM I let her whine it out for a few minutes, but then decided the only way I was going to get a run in today was if I brought Mailey the Monster along with me. So, I snuck in their room. The older girls were fast asleep in their shared bed. Only this time their were on opposite sides, hugging their own pillows and facing the other direction. I went to the crib, pulled out the Monster, and then just as I thought I safely made the getaway, Larin sat straight up and said, "Mommy, why you not sing Rise & Shine?" (Our morning ritual song with our own twist at the end: instead of "children of the Lord" we say "Baylors of the Lord" and "Larins of the Lord" and "Maileys of the Lord" even though we all know there aren't very many Baylors or Larins or Maileys in the world seeing that we pretty much made up those names!) With Larin's spoken words, Baylor was awake, too. So much for Mommy's peaceful morning run!

"you can feel the love of God in this place!"

2011-06-01T08:44:00.009-05:00

Since this past Sunday, the day of StoneWater Serves- our church's annual service project day in place of Sunday morning worship- I've been thinking of the words to write, the things I could say, or anything to depict how awesome the day was. And there's really no words. In January, Casey was asked to help organize the event, and the words StoneWater Serves quickly became a daily if not hourly topic of conversation and event in our daily lives. Who knew what essentially is a two hour service project on a Sunday morning could take months of planning, preparation, and prayer? I've never been more proud to be my husband's wife. I love seeing God move in people, and I had a front row seat the last few months to see how God equipped and prepared those serving and those being served. The day of the event was just so awesome because everyone could see how God used this ministry to bless so many different people. Everyone who showed up and worked their butts off (honestly, there's no other way to put it) was such an inspiration to me. It was all around awesome.

Casey's youngest brother graduated from Glen Rose High School last Friday night. He was just turning 7 years old when Casey and I first started dating, so I feel like I've seen him grow up. As I was watching the kids walk across the stage, all I could think about was how fast these girls' lives will go by and how before I know it, they'll be walking across the stage. This summer marks ten years since my high school graduation. Casey picked me up early from project graduation that night to drive me to Austin to start summer school. My 8 AM summer school class came very early, and it was so weird to say, "It's my first day at UT; I graduated high school yesterday!"

And in other random news, this morning I started my summer morning run routine. While I was running, in the road was the smallest, cutest, just overall sweetest little fawn I'd ever seen. I mean, cuter than Bambi. The poor little girl was all alone- no mama or daddy anywhere near. I stopped running and she actually came toward me! She put her little face on my leg and I started walking backwards talking sweetly to her. She followed me about two blocks before she just fell to the pavement and put her head down. I ran home to ask Casey if I could go back and feed her. I was praying she would still be in the road when I got back, but he said it would best to just leave her alone. I won't forget how sweet she was, following me.

This afternoon we took our first summer swim. We've been to the pool and to my mother in law's pool many times this season, but this was the first real summer swim. The kids had a blast. Can't you tell by the look on May J's face? No, seriously, they did have a lot of fun. MJ didn't cry one time in her baby float!

2011-05-24T19:31:00.002-05:00

I've been a horrible blogger. An even worse picture-taker (totally not worthy of even loosely being called a photographer). And to top it off, I can't seem to remember anything these days, so here's to a short list of what's been going on in our crazy lives.

-Only one more month until our May J turns ONE YEAR OLD! Crazy. After nearly two months of taking steps and wobbling all over, MJ started her full blown walk just before Mother's Day. It's so weird that I don't have a "baby" anymore! Loving this season of my life, though. The above picture cracks me up. This baby girl totally loves her sisters, and she will usually let them do whatever whenever to her. Tonight it was Baylor chasing her around the house (MJ totally provoked her by stealing the book Bay was reading) while giggling the entire time. In this picture, it was Larin holding her down from getting up. She just loves their attention!

-Poor Baylor just got over a nasty bug with which she threw up for the the second, third, and fourth times in her life within a few short hours. So thankful for a husband who doesn't mind cleaning that up!

-I have a love-hate relationship with kettlebell workouts, and I am so glad someone finally filled me in those.

-Said kettlebell workouts would probably give me better results if I would keep my hands off the peanut butter. And the dark chocolate peanut butter. And the Nutella. All those things are also ones with which I'm involved in a love-hate relationship.

-This will probably go down in my book of favorite Larinisms. She had a conversation with my dad (her Gampi) joking around about something or other...she said to him, "Don't put nails in my hands!"

-Our school is EXEMPLARY! Very cool.

-My teaching assignment for next year is changing from English Language Arts to Technology Applications...I'm excited about something new!

-I was recently introduced to protein shakes. Ohmyword. If you're not already on the protein shake train, you better get on it. These are delicious, healthy, and for a girl who doesn't really like to eat foods high in protein, this so totally adds a new dimension to my nutrition!

-Baylor slept in my bed the night she was sick, and she is begging to do it again. It was so sweet to snuggle up next to her the whole night through, but what was the best thing was the random moments through the night when she would kiss me on the cheek. I think this may be a bad habit I allow us both to indulge in every once in a while.

-One week from today summer will have officially started!

-Speaking of which, I was "supposed" to be to my weight loss goal by the last day of school.
:( I'm still not there. That's OK, though. These last 10-15 lbs may take me all summer (if not longer) to lose, and for the first time in my life, I'm at peace about this whole body image thing. (Thanks to the advice from amazing author of the book Made to Crave, Lysa TerKeurst), "My weight is a number of my body mass. That's it. Nothing else. It has nothing to do what I feel like, look like, or the clothes I fit into. More than that, it has nothing to do with my worth- who I am, where I belong, or who loves me. I am ME. Not a number." So take that, you frustrating plateau! ;)

Hurried

2011-05-10T08:00:00.001-05:00

We live our lives hurried. Rushed. More than likely, when we're rushing through life in this hurried fashion, we're missing out on some of God's best blessings.

Four years ago on Mother's Day, I had no idea how much my life would be changed by becoming a mom. I was about 25 weeks pregnant at that time and was so overtaken by expectations and anticipations of becoming a mom that I really wasn't prepared for how much it would change my life. God used motherhood as something that brought me back to Him- at that point I wasn't truly living my life surrendered. I had no idea, four years ago when I was 25 weeks pregnant with my first child, how different my life would look or much freedom I would finally after after I became a mom three times over. Oh, how He knew me best when he gave us three babies in three years when we weren't even planning for them until our 30s. He knew it would be the way to get me to Him.

The Friday before Mother's Day I was rushing out of school to get to my girls' preschool in time for Muffins with Mom. Of course as I'm walking out of the building, giving myself plenty of time to get to their preschool, the school yearbooks arrived- all 12 boxes of them. Being the Yearbook sponsor who has awaited this day all year, I had to drop everything to unload them and organize them.

Once the yearbooks were put away, I knew I was very close to being late, so I sped out of the school parking lot and down the school road. And then came the sirens. Guilty. 11 miles over. The cop didn't care I was headed to Muffins with Mom. Heck, he told me he didn't care it was Mother's Day (not that I was asking for an exception). One speeding ticket made me 20 minutes late (that's always the case with speeding, isn't' it?).

When I finally got to the preschool, the sight of my poor baby girls sitting at their table, anxiously awaiting my arrival at Muffins with Mom both melted and broke my heart. Their tiny hands around their sweet jewelry boxes they made me. A muffin and punch waiting at my empty seat. "I know you can't have a muffin on your diet, Mommy, but I still got you one" my oldest daughter sighed.

By golly, I devoured that muffin, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Late or not. Carbs or not.

On the way home from their preschool, my middle daughter cried from the backseat, "Don't speed, Mommy!"

I'm not rushing through this life hurried.

awakening

2011-05-01T21:40:00.001-05:00

"for YOU and YOU alone, awake my soul, awake my soul and sing...for the world YOU love, YOUR will be done, let YOUR will be done in me..."

Just three things that awakened my soul this weekend at Ignite2011. The awesome speakers spoke these truths that really caused deep reflection and awakening in my life.

1. ONE person can make a difference.
There was a girl from a family I so much loved growing up. She lived in our neighborhood. She went to our church. She was a bit older than me, and I watched her from afar secretly hoping I'd be just like her someday. She was such a beautiful girl, inside and out, but most of all she loved Jesus. And then I became a young adult, and I didn't see her as often, but one summer day by the pool changed my life. She didn't know it at the time. I didn't know it at the time. She approached me (I was hugely pregnant with our first child and had my nose in some graduate school books.) She was beautiful as ever- exuding Christ's love. She sat down next to me and invited me to her church, StoneWater. I had visited the church before, told her I liked it and that we'd probably go back someday. But the truth was that I wasn't walking. I wasn't living my life for Him. I remember giving her some excuses like, "weekends are busy" or "we're getting ready for our baby" or "I've in over my head in graduate school" or even the lamest "Casey plays golf on Sunday". She didn't judge me. She didn't pressure me. She just invited me. With a smile. Turns out, we did end up going back to StoneWater. Not only going back, and have fully submitted our lives to Christ, and StoneWater has been a vessel for us to dig deeper and draw closer to God than either of us ever have. All because of that one woman. It only takes ONE. I saw this woman at Ignite this weekend. During communion together, the Spirit urged me to tell her the truth about that summer day four years ago and how she changed my life with her invitation and really by her influence in my childhood. She remembered that day, too. :) What God can do in your life when you listen (thanks, Suzanne, for listening) and allow Him to use you.

2. WHAT have you been messing around in?
I'll never forget when we were potty training Baylor and she had "the incident" in her bedroom (and if you're brave enough, you can see the picture on that link). Jilane Hawkins, one of the speakers this weekend, used a similar story of her own daughter to illustrate how God must feel when he finds us in a mess of sin. She compared the filth of sin to that of what you see in this picture. Oh how God must look down on us and lovingly say, "THIS? THIS is what you've been doing with what I've given you?!" Would you love your child any less when you find her in this mess? Do you immediately pick her up and take care of her? Clean her? Give her something else, healthy and satisfying but not destructive, to play with? As mad as I was when I found her in this mess, I had to take a picture. Now I have something to remind me of that moment. Our sin is so similar. I know in my life that even though I'm forgiven and can let go of the past, I still like to have those snapshots as reminders of what He found me in, how He saved me and what He can make of the mess I was in.

3. CLAIM victory in everything you do!
It's natural as a sinner to be self-consumed. When I become this selfish, I find myself playing victim. Big situations, small situations, it doesn't matter. Sometimes I lay down like a hurt animal, and play victim blaming anyone and everything around me other than myself. As a Christian, I do not have to live like this! In every.single.thing. I do, I have VICTORY. Why? Because Christ died for ME. I can claim that victory every minute of every day no matter the situation! It's so freeing and brings pure joy and relief that Jesus has paid that price and we are victors! No longer do I want to be enslaved by those feelings. Freely He gave it all for us! Why can we not freely let go?

Easter Weekend 2011

2011-04-25T10:46:00.009-05:00

"Jesus paid it all,

all to HIM I owe...

Sin had left a crimson stain...

He washed it white as snow...

O praise THE ONE who paid my debt and raised THIS LIFE up from the dead!"

And because we sang this song all weekend long, here's a video for old times' sake!

2011-04-10T06:40:00.002-05:00

Parents are very used to being asked, "Who does she/he get that from?" From the moment a baby is born, people are already trying to decipher "who the baby looks like". Casey has always been very slow to say one of our daughters favors either of us- in looks or personality- as he is really good at seeing them as individuals rather than products of us, but there are some things you just can't ignore when it comes to, "Wow...she is just like you!" The teacher in me visualizes a venn diagram of the similarities between each daughter and her parents. The middle of Baylor & Casey's venn diagram would droop to the ground because of their similarities. Everything from their logical thinking, taste buds, sense of humor, and sleeping habits match exactly. On the other hand, if there ever could be a mini-me of myself, Larin is it. We think the same, eat the same, have the same mannerisms, and even walk the same. The poor girl even has my "Phoebe-run" where her leg juts out the side. And the verdict is still out on May Jay. We're not sure who she is more like, although at this 9 1/2 month mark, I can say she is taking a sharp turn into the likeness of her oldest sister, thus just like her daddy. She basically looks like Baylor with blue eyes. We had our first swimming pool experience of the season, and Mailey's swimsuit was the same polka-dot suit both Baylor & Larin sported at 9 months, too. UGH it was creepy how much she looked like her oldest sister, Baylor, during her first swimming experience exactly 3 years ago. Even the girls have picked up on how they are similar to their parents. Larin: Baylor has brown eyes just like Daddy's brown eyes. Me: Yes, Baylor's eyes looks JUST like Daddy's brown eyes. Larin: And I have hazel eyes just like Mommy's hazel eyes. Me: Yes ma'am! Yours look just like mine! Larin: And Mailey has blue eyes just like E.T.! (...Larin's best friend these days is her little E.T. stuffed doll, which my mother-in-law had saved since Casey was a boy. E.T. is pretty much the newest member of our family. Has he eaten? Does he need a nap? That isn't his favorite blanket! You know, the important stuff!)

baylor's braums moment

2011-04-02T08:45:00.003-05:00

yesterday, i had my first ohmyword moment as a mother. one of those scary, hold your breath kind of moments when you're certain that it's only by the grace of our loving god that your little one is safe. we went to braums for afternoon ice cream. me, my three kids, my mom & dad (deedee and gampi) , and my nephew. when my nephew is around, there are four kids under the age of four: a three-year-old, two-year-old, one-year-old, and a nine-month old. needless to say, you have your hands full. throw in the fact that i'm 6 days out from surgery and still can't lift anything, and that makes for craziness. but when you need ice cream, you need ice cream. we were leaving the restaurant, and my daughters walked out the door with my mom while i stayed behind with my dad and my nephew cleaning the table and putting up the high chairs. of the hundreds of times we've been there, we have never ever ever parked at the front of braums, and we have never ever ever gone out the side door leading to the drive thru. my first mistake was to assume- i assumed all the kids were with my mom. my second mistake was to care about the mess left behind at the table when i knew i already hand my hands full and needed to head out. my third and final mistake was to even be out in public in the first place when i was physically unable to safely care for all of my children. we walked out the side door onto the sidewalk of the drive thru, turned left, but i happened to look to my right and saw my precious three-year-old daughter with blond hair to all the way to her bottom, standing in the drive thru. livid, i yelled for her to come toward me just when a silver toyota camry with a dark-haired woman pulled closer to me and said, "mom? she was very sweet and polite, but she asked me if she could get in the car with me. i just wanted to let you know. i have little ones, too." my heart felt like it stopped and i lost control of my thoughts other than complete thankfulness and praise to god for her safety. we walked to the car, hurriedly strapped them in, and i looked back at baylor, who at this point was so confused and so scared of being in trouble. she kept saying, "i thought that lady was deedee!" i couldn't help the tears, which forced them out of bay's eyes, too. and larin was just all out scared. obviously, we had the long talk about strangers- which confused them even more. "but doesn't that lady love god, mommy?" so this morning, my heart still hurts and i feel guilty as all get out for the entire thing, but i am so full of praise for the god who loves my child more than i do and kept her safe and sound in a situation that could have been so, so, so sad.

2011-03-30T13:12:00.005-05:00

Not that I needed another reason to love Starbucks...

My middle daughter, who gets her sweet tooth from her mother, adores rocky road ice cream (her three favorite things wrapped up into one: chocolate, marshmallows, almonds). I can't wait to take her to try to a rocky road cake pop.

I don't use this term very often, but in this case, these don't deserve any other word

Da Bomb.

Niner

2011-03-25T21:03:00.000-05:00

For the same length of time she was growing in my belly, she has now been gracing us with her presence in our family.

Oh how we love you, our youngest daughter- the one of many names. Mailey James. May J. MJ. May May. And your latest name: Baylor-on-Steroids. :) We love you. You are so fun right now. You can stand on your own; you've taken a few steps; you clap your hands; you can say mama, dada, bay, ball, hi, baba; wave; and you flash the prettiest smile there ever was accompanied by baby blue eyes. You're rambunctious and sweet at the same time. You're sassy and snugly. You're fun and feisty. You love to wrestle, mostly with your daddy, but you'll even tackle a pillow. You love to laugh. Most of all, you love your sisters, and my prayer is that whether you're nine, nineteen, or ninety, THAT never changes.

And shame on your mommy for not taking a new, cute nine moth picture of you.

what a fun week

2011-03-20T21:14:00.007-05:00

2011-03-19T14:40:00.003-05:00

This memorable conversation took place at our dinner table the other night.

Baylor: I am the goodest one in the whole world.
Me: Really? Why do you think that?
Baylor: I can clean up my toys really good. I can run really fast. I have pretty hair...
Me: You know the only thing that matters to God is that you love Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Do you know that?
Baylor: Yes, and I do that, too.
Larin (chiming in): And that means someday you'll go to heaven!
Baylor: That's right. If I love Him.
Larin (looking at me with her scrunched up nose): Will He give me a purple house in heaven?
Baylor: Larin, He will give you all the things you need if you love Him!

friday

2011-03-18T23:30:00.000-05:00

this past weekend we celebrated the upcoming arrival of my best friend's baby. cooper isaac was showered with love with the cutest theme, "oh, boy, what a sweet blessing!" you mean a baby shower with a side of cookies and milk? (or better yet, mocha punch?) yes, please! it was a first, and it was totally cute.

my sweet friend courtney made the delicious cookies (if you're in need for some deliciously baked goods, courtney is your gal!).

this year, the month of april will be the most special april ever because it will bring cooper isaac rodgers! cooper, you're one lucky little guy to have amanda as your mama (not to mention the cutest baseball themed nursery ever).

thursday

2011-03-17T08:48:00.002-05:00

i really like this song! it's just playful and fun and springish and such a reminder of how blessed we are even in the frustrating moments.

wednesday

2011-03-16T14:23:00.006-05:00

yea for wednesday of spring break because daddy is home with us! let's see... donut shop, lowe's, errands in the truck, visit to meme's house, a hot dog lunch, and plans for an afternoon of planting flowers & plants? yes, that sounds just like a day with our daddy!

last night we watched the movie facing the giants. i know it's been out for a while, but we're so behind on our movie watching (aside from frequent cartoons and kid movies). i was so impressed by this movie and its message about god's glory. now, it's definitely obvious it was low budget, and of course there were some corny parts that made casey look at me like, "you pick great movies, lis!" but i really did enjoy it and totally recommend it!

i love this line from the movie:

"He sent His son Jesus to die for us so we could live for Him. That's why we're here. But see, it's not just on the football field; we've got to honor Him in our relationships, our respect for authority, in the classroom, and when you're at home alone surfing the internet. I want God to bless this team so much that people talk about what He did. But it means we got to give Him our best in every area. If we win, we praise Him. And if we loose, we praise Him. Either way, we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So I'm asking you: what are you living for? I've resolved to give God everything I've got. Then I'll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you'll join me? "

something completely unrelated (and only because i love how my friend, maggie, does 'what i'm lovin' wednesdays')...

i'm so lovin' these almonds. i'm pretty much obsessed with almonds these days, and yes i know they lose their health benefits the more you eat. i have a great trick for that: when you buy the big bag at walmart, divide up the serving sizes into small baggies, that way you already know how many you're eating at one time. i resolved to this new portion control after eating an entire bag in 30 minutes. no lie. anyway...if you love chocolate and you love almonds, but you can't afford to splurge on the calories/fat of chocolate almonds, these are for you! in fact, these are BETTER than chocolate almonds. they're cocoa roasted! MMMMMMM. i've bought both the emerald and the blue diamond brands...both good. i'm going to get real gutsy and try this recipe someday soon.

tuesday

2011-03-15T08:49:00.003-05:00

my random thought for this spring break tuesday (as my three little ones play on the living room floor, i sip a hot cup of coffee, and the possibilities of the fun day lay in front of us like a candy buffet):

won't it be so cool to be in heaven, sitting in the lap of our heavenly father, and receiving a glimpse of just how many people prayed for us while on earth? maybe that is a selfish way of thinking of it, but the visual picture of just how many times you were lifted up in prayer over the course of your life, by people you may never have known, would be an indescribable event.

think of it this way: can you imagine just how many people are praying for the people of japan right now? or how many times a day a prayer is said for the leadership of our country? or even how many times a day is the church prayed for? it's amazing how astronomical that number must be. and surely a god who numbers the hairs on our head numbers the prayers that are spoken during a lifetime. at times i feel quite selfish for my own little list of prayers made during the moments of the day, but isn't amazing to know god cares about even the what we would call 'mundane' prayers- peace, strength, comfort- equally as much as the earthquake and tsunami victims?

i started thinking about this because i feel that i am being prayed for. it's surreal to know you feel god working in your life because of someone's actual prayer. sometimes we catch this (a simple text from a friend that says, "you've been on my mind, and i've been praying for you!" or maybe just a smile from someone at church that gives you the confirmation that you've been prayed for. how do i know this is true? i guess just by knowing the strength of the spirit.

i can't wait to see the mound of prayers we are building in heaven.

i'm so thankful we love and serve a god we can't hold in our hands. he is so much bigger. he is so much greater. his will be done.

Ephesians 6:18 (New International Reader's Version) i love the way this translation words it:
18 At all times, pray by the power of the Spirit. Pray all kinds of prayers. Be watchful, so that you can pray. Always keep on praying for all of God's people.

monday

2011-03-14T10:13:00.005-05:00

it's SPRING BREAK! can i get a what, what?! this is one of the most beloved weeks of the school year; our first taste of vacation before the real deal.

five minutes into our first morning of the first day of spring break and larin peed the bed and then baylor climbed in mailey's crib while i was bathing larin. those two events alone zapped whatever energy i thought i had for this glorious day. ;)

but, hey, who can complain when our breakfast consisted of mint chocolate chip ice cream, enjoyed at the round breakfast table with the world's most beautiful daughters? "are you just going to eat it straight from the container, mommy?" baylor asked.

yes, yes i am!

E.T. Phone Home!

2011-03-10T15:16:00.004-06:00

We're doing all things E.T. around our house these days. Since watching the movie for the first time last week, the girls are officially obsessed.

-At the point in the movie when E.T. is about to die, Baylor asked if we could put hands on him and pray for him to heal.
-Both girls love to say over and over and over again, "E.T. phone home! E.T. phone home!" in their best E.T. impersonation voice.
-Larin put on a hooded sweatshirt and shouted in the mirror, "I look like ELLIOTT!"
-Baylor says (at the most random times): "I have two friends named Elliott. One is a boy, and one is a girl. One is friends with E.T. one is not."
-Larin told me that Gertie (Drew Barrymore) is her best friend.
-The girls have a new found love for Reeses Pieces, and Baylor scattered them out at the park while Larin hunted for them just like E.T. (Yes, I let my kids eat candy from the ground- gravel at that.)
-They both cry so hard at the end of the movie- a mixture of happiness and sadness. Baylor cried out, "E.T. is just so great. I don't know him, but he is still so great!"

So I never thought I'd reach this point in my motherhood journey. Here I am, googling "E.T. shirts for toddlers" and I can't seem to find anything. Baylor told me before she went to school today, "I hope you can find a shirt for me on the Internet!"

this weekend

2011-03-08T06:24:00.006-06:00

it's not that we needed this gorgeous resort to have an amazing weekend.

and it wasn't the the fact that i cheated on my diet for the first time in 8 weeks with a slice of pie from this famous place.

it wasn't the way we got to go to bed without feeling completely exhausted from putting little babies in their beds.

or the way we got to sleep in (if 7 AM is even considered sleeping in), or that i got to begin each glorious day with a run on a treadmill overlooking the serene pool.

or the that i drank endless amounts of delicious hotel coffee WITH cream (again, a luxury i haven't been able to enjoy the last 8 weeks).

and i can't forget the late night room service that included a club sandwich for casey and an ice cream sundae for me- our favorites.

or the trip to the hot tub.

or the breakfast omelet.

no, it wasn't because of any of those things that made this past weekend one of the best times my husband and i have ever had together. it was simply because the god of the universe blessed us with a church, along with a blessed ministry provided for us to grow in christ together and strengthen our marriage in the way god intended it to be.

at the top of my blog is a picture of us on our wedding day. truly one of the happiest days of my life. i think every bride can say that. but what i can say now is that i am 100,0000X happier now than i was on that day. and it's not because i love this man more every day- bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh. it's not because he is a beyond-words-amazing dad for our three daughters. and it's not because we've practically grown up together since we started dating at a young age. it's because our marriage walks. i'm so thankful for this gift from god, and i am so excited to live out our marriage for his purpose. there is nothing sexier than a man who loves and lives for the lord.

2011-02-23T08:40:00.008-06:00

i'm SO behind on blogger. most nights, after the crazy chaotic mess that is my life with three kids, i feel like hitting the sack, getting lost in a book once my chores are done; therefore, i am way behind on all the blogs i follow and all the things i've been wanting to write recently. here's some things that went on with my babes over the last few weeks.

*********************************

my baylor:

i have a good memory when it comes to dates (like birthdays or anniversaries) and names (i can memorize students' names usually by the second day of school) but i can't remember important things like packing lunches, bill payment due dates, or even to put a bra on sometimes (yes, it has happened more than once!). but casey, on the other hand, has the talent of remembering faces and voices. he can pinpoint voices from voice overs on commercials and songs and faces. during christmas baylor came to love the movie home alone. thanks to the dvr, we watched the movie over and over and over during christmas break. we were recently watching city slickers and baylor said, "hey, that guy is the robber from home alone!" i had no clue what she was talking about, and i almost wrote her off as crazy and dismissed the comment until casey realized she was talking about the actor daniel stern. she has a memory like her daddy.

*******************************
my larin:

larin is so tender hearted it's heart wrenching! one day at the breakfast table she asked me where my mommy and daddy were. "deedee and gampi are at their house having breakfast, too," i answered her.

"why don't you live with them since they are your mommy and daddy?"

i laughed and told her that when she grows up someday she will live in her own house away from me and daddy along with her own family. her face contorted into the most confused, crinkly, and cute cry-face and fat tears immediately followed. "but i never want to leave your house! i want to live with you and daddy!"

of course my fat tears were making their way to my own eyes as i told her, "ok, you can always live with us, sweetie."

"ok, let's pray about it and ask god." she reasoned. :) LOVE her.

***********************************
my mj:

mailey james is cracking me up with her crawling business. she doesn't really like to crawl on tile, which leaves her the option of doing a funky bear crawl. i have a video of her doing this, and when i'm feeling productive enough, i'll upload and share it.

my eight month old says mama, dada, and waving- but she does none of these things on cue. seeing her bright blue eyes makes me smile even when i'm in the worst of moods.

************************************
my sisters:

larin had an accident in her pants because she was too busy playing outside. baylor went to the bathroom to help her "clean up" by putting fresh clothes on. "you're such a good sister to me, bayweer," larin so oh-so-sweetly.

we watched land before time the other night (which reminds me so much of my childhood. my aunt mailed me a VHS copy of the movie for my birthday one year), and the girls loved it. we called mj "littlefoot" when she was first born because her distinct but adorable raspberry on her forehead. now we are calling her "sharptooth" because her lonely, freshly sprout tooth. anyway, at the ending of the movie, the girls had a very confused look on their faces that quickly changed from happiness (littlefoot does make it to the great valley) to absolute disappointment. baylor quivered just before her tears came, "i think i'm going to cry!" casey witnessed his first ever oliver girl cry-out (probably the first of 1000s he will witness). you know, a moment when it just feels good to cry. all three of us (me, bay, and lay) were sobbing at the loss of littlefoot's mommy.

*************************************

here's some pictures of my sweet girls at great wolf lodge this weekend.

these are a few of my favorite things

2011-02-09T11:35:00.008-06:00

just some boring but fun things i want to remember about this time in our lives:

-baylor loves to color and takes pride being a self-proclaimed "really good colorer" she loves to instruct us all on how to color in the lines. she loves to color a picture, bring it to me and say, "close your eyes, it's a surprise!" one day she colored me a picture and asked me to "keep it on my wall forever and ever and ever promise to never lose it!"

-larin loves to play with her kitchen set. she also loves to sing and dance with a microphone in her hand. one day she was asking for a "microshone" for her kitchen. she kept trying to show me on her kitchen what she was talking about, but it still didn't make sense to me. she led me into my kitchen, pointed at the microwave and said, "i want a microshone like your microshone!"

-mailey james crawls anywhere and everywhere. she is pulling up on every piece of furniture we have. her infamous bear crawl cracks me up. she has yet to learn what a mirror is. the closets in our house are mirrors, and we laugh every time she crawls straight into it. over and over.

-we took the girls bowling for the first time, and they loved it. this picture makes me laugh so hard! their excitement is contagious.

-we've had fun snow days (four last week, and one today). it's been so great to be together and relax.

-mailey james wants me all.the.time. she cries if she is with someone else and i walk by. there is a part of me (even though it can get disheartening because i obviously can't hold her all the time) that loves this because it's a mother-daughter bond that can't be explained.

-with mj's balance being much better, the three girls can all take a bath together. they love it!

-baylor and larin share a full size bed while mj is in her crib at the foot of the bed. it's so cute to have them all in one room. baylor and larin snuggle up so cute! with this cold weather, we'll usually catch them spooning one another or curling up. well, one night we heard a scream from the room. casey ran back there to find that baylor bit larin's finger because she was "sick of larin's hand in her face". i guess the sisterly love that comes out while sharing a room (and bed in this case) is coming out!

-we love the movie monsters, inc. i remember seeing it with casey in the theater when we were in college. i always wanted a little girl who looked like boo, and now i have one!!! baylor normally doesn't show her soft side while watching movies (remember, this is the girl whose favorite movie is lord of the rings), but last night she cried at the ending of monsters, inc! it is sad and makes me tear up every time. it's usually our lay lay who cries really hard at the end of movies (nanny mcphee for example).

snow

2011-02-03T13:49:00.003-06:00

today is the third day we've been off school due to icy roads. larin climbed in our bed this morning asking, "is it still icy outside?" the kids have gotten a little stir crazy, but not as bad as their mommy! :) actually, this three day (maybe even four day) break from our routine would be absolutely heavenly IF: 1) we had running water at our house 2) i wasn't on a diet and could bake to my heart's desire. both of those things make it hard to live comfortably around here when it's 10 degrees outside and you're stuck in your house!

actually, we have ventured out and braved the roads, but only long enough to visit the beloved chickfila, take baths at my parents' house, get milk from the store, and play at our neighborhood's gym. tonight, we'll pray and drive the roads again so we can attend church events.

the snow days actually came at the best time ever for me personally. i mean, i know this ice is messing up a lot of people's lives right now (ahem, superbowl peeps), but for me, this mini-vacay from school was heaven sent. monday had been the hardest day at school for me that i had in a while, and monday night i was left sifting through the feelings and thoughts and emotions of being a super busy working mom of three babies...i mean, was life really meant to be this hard? am i really supposed to struggle this much? during my quiet time and reading monday night, i got my answer.

YES.

in his book forgotten god (which is a MUST READ by the way), author francis chan wrote:

it is true that god may have called you to be exactly where you are. but it's absolutely vital to grasp that he didn't call you there so you could settle and live out your life in comfort and superficial peace. his purposes are not random or arbitrary. if you are still alive on this planet, it's because he has something for you to do. he has placed us on this earth for purposes that he orchestrated long before you were born. do you believe you exist for not your own pleasure but to help people know the love of jesus and to come fully alive in him? if so, then that will shape how you live your life in the place where you are.

that monday night, as i was seeking my own pleasure and comfort and ease, i was ignoring the purpose god has for me in just the place i am right now. and for now, that means a super busy working mom of three babies.

i'm thankful for the past three days of reflection and just simple pleasures with my darlings.

seeing the snow on the ground reminds me of the lyric "sin had left a crimson stain, he washed it white as snow". putting my own pleasure before his plan is something i pray can be washed away along with this snow.

fill in the blank

2011-01-29T04:34:00.003-06:00

i shouldn't be up at 7 AM on a saturday! (especially when we have fun saturday plans that require rest! especiallly, especially when i'm trying to watch what i eat and early in the morning is when i have the worst hunger pangs!) so MJ will just have to rest on my lap while i catch up on facebook and blogger. i stole this fill in from maggie.

{one} if my house was on fire and i could only grab three things i would grab: casey and i have actually made an escape route if here were an emergency, and honestly, i can't remember all of it. i think it entails me leaving and calling the police while casey gets the girls, but now that we have three girls, i don't think that can still be the plan. plus, if an emergency truly did happen, i don't think i could get out of this house without my arms around my babies. i'm not emotionally tied to anything in this house, but it would be nice to save my journals.

{two} a smell i really like is: anything sweet baking in the oven! oh, and newborn baby poop! breastfed only!

{three} something you might not know about me is: in high school, my family moved to arizona and back to granbury twice.

{four} some of my favorite websites to putter around on are: facebook and blogger and LM NET (a forum for librarians)

{five} this weekend i will: take the girls on a train ride, eat chipotle (my favorite right now), stock show, get my hair cut, church

{six} nothing makes me happier than: worshiping with my daughters and husband

{seven} a bad habit i have is: it's a tie between chewing on the inside of my cheek to the point of bleeding and sores or writing in the sky using my pointer finger

2011-01-26T20:39:00.003-06:00

It's been ten months since my last hair cut. I'm really bad at things like that- you know, things that make someone "look good". I never know what looks good plus I'm super cheap, so I'm left with a crummy mane.

I told Baylor tonight that I am finally getting my hair done on Saturday.

Baylor: Oh, good!
Me: Why do you say it like that?
Baylor: Well, sometimes your hair is not very beautiful.
Me: Excuse me?
Baylor: Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. You should put it in a long braid and pony tail.
Me: Ok, I can try.
Baylor: Or you can ask God for very beautiful hair just like mine.
Me. Ok, I can try.

2011-01-15T21:34:00.004-06:00

I can't believe I haven't logged onto my computer for five days! Pretty amazing for this Internet-addicted gal. I've been focusing really hard to trash my Internet/Facebook/Carbs/Sweets addictions for Journaling/Auiet Time/Playing with Kids/Cooking/Reading time.

So, this week was pretty amazing.

1. One of my best friends had her baby. Absolutely adorable. There are no words for how perfect she is. Her birthday was so special because our visit to the hospital to see her and then dinner out to celebrate with besties.
2. I started a new diet that I am extremely excited about and am more motivated than I ever have been in my life. I'm being super gutsy by posting it here, but I am hoping it holds me more accountable.
3. God matched Casey's skills and talents with the perfect ministry for him. It is going to be so cool to see how God moves over the next few months.
4. God fully revealed something to me that I've had an inkling for, and He opened a door to make it happen.
5. Mailey James said "ma ma!" And she has continued to say it over and over again! :) This is so awesome considering Baylor and Larin both said "da da" first!
6. I had my first ever full steak...and it was delicious. And I ate it all by myself. (Actually, I ate half and brought half home for Casey, but I would have eaten the entire thing had my diet allowed it.)
7. Baylor DIDN'T get on red at school! She did have to move to yellow for a while, but that is a lot of improvement from last week for our so called "class clown".

And this didn't happen this week, but my best friend's little sister (who felt like the little sister I never had growing up) had her sweeeeeet baby boy January 5. Here's her awesome blog with her birth story. http://www.mgwalton.blogspot.com/

Tonight we were watching a movie about Jesus's birth (and yes, we finally got our Christmas decorations taken down today). When Mary was riding the donkey, Larin said, "I want to ride a donkey some day when I'm bigger and bigger!" I told her that we may be able to work that out. "Well, I want a purple donkey! Or pink!" :) I would find a donkey and dye it's hair for that sweet girl any day.

I've got the

2011-01-09T20:40:00.004-06:00

JOY, JOY, JOY, JOY...

I secretly wanted to name one of our daughters Joy because I thought it would honor my grandmother whose name is Joyce. So, whenever I hear the word, I always think back to the name 'Joy' handwritten on all of our brainstorming lists of names for our children-to-be.

The word covered many holiday greeting cards this year. I probably heard it 1000 times in Christmas songs this season alone. But for 2011, this word has a new meaning. (And I can't take credit for this meaning. I heard it on the radio, but I can't give credit to anyone because I didn't write down who was speaking.)

"Joy starts with Jesus and ends with you. J = Jesus O = others Y = you"

My interpretation (this part I can take credit for): Knowing Jesus should be #1 priority in your life. When you know Jesus, you are able to put others before yourself. Serving and ministering to others ("count others more significant than yourselves..." Philippians 2:3) should your second priority. Once you have a sound relationship with Jesus that is always growing, and you are serving others in a way that brings Him glory, you are able to have a happy, healthy YOU who is ready for anything God prepares for your life.

In 2011, I am seeking to find more JOY in my relationship with the Lord, my ministry to others, and a happier, healthier ME who is ready for anything God puts before me.

Forgotten God (and a forgotten Coke)

2011-01-07T19:22:00.005-06:00

It was meant to be that my LifeGroup's study this week was about the Trinity and I was full of questions about the Holy Spirit, and then a few days prior a dear friend loans me her copy of Forgotten God by Francis Chan. On the same night that I leave LifeGroup praying for a deeper desire to be consumed by the Holy Spirit and feel His presence, I pick up this amazing book about how the Holy Spirit is essentially the "forgotten God" in churches today.

I'm only page 40, and already this book has changed my view of whatever I thought the Holy Spirit was before. Oh how I have neglected His power and might!

"And this is the questions I just can't get around: If it's true that the Spirit of God dwells in us and that our bodies are the Holy Spirit's temple, then shouldn't there be a huge difference between the person who has the Spirit of God living inside of him or and the person who does not?"

and

"Those of us who believe in Jesus would never deny the truth that we have the Spirit of the living God, the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead, living inside of us. I'm just not convinced we've internalized this truth and enjoyed His blessing as He intends. It seems like this is mostly head knowledge to us, and that have not owned it. It has not really made much of a difference in our lives, to the degree that if we woke up tomorrow and discovered that is not true the Holy Spirit lives inside of us, most likely our lives wouldn't' look much different."

Praying for living like there IS a difference and forgiveness for the life I have lived that doesn't. Holy Spirit, fall on me.

I can't wait to talk about this book with other who have read it!

(Oh, and about the forgotten Coke...I never ever keep a can of coke in my school bag, but today was the day I succombed to the temptation that was in my fridge. Of course, since it isn't habit, I forgot to get it out of my school bag. At some point during the day, my can of coke busted and leaked over everything in the bag. Luckily, Misti's copy of this book survived the least amount of damange compared to the rest of my bag's contents. Sorry, Misti! Will buy you a new one! Hopefully your love for a good Coke and your understanding of a temptation to drink one will help you forgive me!)

decions, decisions

2011-01-07T19:05:00.004-06:00

There are many things my middle daughter, Larin, and I have in common. Yes, our love for mint chocolate chip ice cream is the best that we share, but it's the incapability of making a decision and sticking with it that ranks right up there with our ice cream overindulgence.

The girls were on their out the house one day this week, and they had both been begging to take a along toy with them. Larin had two toys in her hands, so Casey told her to choose between the two. "Which one, Larin?" Larin indecisively glances back and forth between the two toys, but her eyes land on the cup of cereal also balancing in her hands instead. "Um....CEREAL!"

Oh, Larin Elise, we have so much in common it's frightening.

1st book of the New Year

2011-01-05T22:01:00.004-06:00

I follow a couple of blogs that tell about books the blogger has recently read. Reading is my favorite thing to do, and my nightstand is usually decorated with three or so books (all quite different in nature) at one time as I alternate my spare time between them. I love the idea of recording the books I'm reading. I hand made a quote-poster for my classroom the first year I taught that says, "How many a man has dated a new era in his life by the reading of a book" (Henry David Thoreau). So, here's my way of blogging about new eras in my life...

I just finished a young adult fiction book called The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson. AMAZING. BRILLIANT. Just so beyond creative. So many spiritual undertones while balancing a fun sci-fi, futuristic setting. There is a whole mother-daughter relationship dilemma that just ignites me to pray and pray and pray and pray harder about my relationship with my daughters and the examples I set for them and how my girls will be who they will be regardless of who I want them to be. Baylor, Larin, and Mailey James: I never want you to be perfect- you don't have to ever live up to that expectation. I just want you to know and dwell in the perfect love of our Father.

2011-01-02T13:36:00.001-06:00

Casey: Girls, we can't leave small pieces like this in the playroom! Mailey James will put them in her mouth, choke on them, and die!

Baylor: She will die?

Casey: Yes, she will choke and die and we won't get to see her again.

Baylor: But she will go to heaven, right?

Casey: Yes.

Baylor: Then we will see her again in heaven!

2011

2011-01-02T13:18:00.002-06:00

God revealed this verse to me during quiet time on the first day of the new year:

Psalm 19:14
14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

This is going to be my focus for 2011. My mouth and mind and heart want more of Him. My mouth and mind and heart are all about Him. My mouth and mind and heart want to do everything for Him. With Him as my Rock and Redeemer, I can do anything He wants me to do.

Our 2010

2010-12-31T23:36:00.004-06:00

Here is one picture for each month of 2010. Glory to God for such an awesome 2010.

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Let's get this 2011 party started.

Half a Year

2010-12-30T21:46:00.004-06:00

On Christmas Eve, my youngeset baby girl turned one half a year old!

6 months ago, this picture was taken the minute Mailey James was brought into this world.

Oh, what a joy that first minute of life is! Words can't describe. The immediate and intense amount of love you feel for something so perfect. What a very small glimpse of God's grace!

In 6 months, I've come to know more love than I could have ever imagined. This baby girl has rocked my world every minute of her 6 month life! I love her to pieces.

She's our veggie-eating, always-smiling, sister-lovin', bue eyed-glowing, almost-crawling, happier than happy baby girl, and we love her so incredibly much.

My favorite parts of her first 6 months:

-her naps on my chest

-holding her sweet, soft hands

-the smell of her baby poop diapers (oh how I love the smell of a good breastmilk poop)

-kisses her on baby lips

-wee small hours in the morning when it's just me and her

-the way she smiles at her sisters

-the way she laughs for her daddy

-her twinkling blue eyes that light her entire face (that I hope she never grows out of)

Love.

2010-12-29T07:49:00.003-06:00

5 more posts to go before 2011...i'm trying.

we were listening to "your love never fails" at breakfast yesterday. baylor and larin were singing along with the words. the verse "your love never fails" comes at the end of each stanza (is it called a stanza in a song?). baylor said, in very matter of a fact manner, "yeah, god didn't even get hurt when he fell." LOL i guess to a 3 year old, "fails" means to "fall".

during kids' service at church, pastor chris recited a verse the girls immediately recognized, even though they were busy drawing on the worship program. they both threw their heads up and said "JOHN 1:3!" as soon as chris said, "all things were made by him..."

all three girls are in the same room now. baylor & larin are in the double bed, and mailey james is in the crib. it's the cutest thing! this morning, i was enjoying the silent house trying to have some quiet time when larin came out and spoke in a whisper, "hey! i said hi to mailey in her crib and she laughed at me! i love her so much!" ahhhh, i love them so much.

such an inspiring (and convicting) excerpt from one of my beach reads...

2010-12-27T12:48:00.004-06:00

"God does not exist to make a big deal out of us. We exist to make a big deal out of him. It's not about you. It's all about him. The moon models our role. What does the moon do? She generates no light. Contrary to the lyrics of the song, this harvest moon cannot shine on. Apart from the sun, the moon is nothing more than pitch black, pockmarked rock. But properly positioned, the moon beams. Let her do hat she was made to do, and a cloud of dirt becomes a source of inspiration, yea, verily, romance. The moon reflects the greater light. And she's happy to do so! You never hear the moon complaining. She makes no waves about making waves. Let the cow jump over her or the astronauts step on her; she never objects. Even though sunning is accepted while mooning is the butt of bad jokes, you won't hear old' Cheeseface grumble. The moon is at peace in her place. And because she is, soft light touches a dark earth. What would happen if we accepted our place as Son reflectors? Such a shift comes so stubbornly, however. We've been demanding our way and stamping our feet since infancy. Aren't we all born with a default drive set on selfishness? Self-promotion. Self-preservation. Selfcenteredness. It's all about me! They all told us it was, didn't they? Weren't we urged to look out for number one? Find our place in the sun? Make a name for ourselves? We thought self-celebration would make us happy...But what chaos this philosophy creates.....The God-centered life works. And it rescues us from a life that doesn't." It's Not About Me by Max Lucado

Desiring so badly to beam in the way he wants me to by being a Son reflector.

2 Corinthians 3:18

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

2010-12-25T16:47:00.002-06:00

Truly, this is the most wonderful time of the year because people everywhere are singing praises to Jesus and celebrating His birth!

Merry Christmas from the Oliver Family...just a few recent videos of our girls singing their praises.

We can't hold our love back from You!

CHRISTMAS MORNING

BIRTHDAY CUPCAKES

LARIN PRACTICING VERSES

Jesus

the kneeling santa

2010-12-23T08:56:00.006-06:00

i've been struggling with how to incorporate mainstream santa into our household and keeping our family focused on Christ rather than "mas" presents. a friend of mine who was having the same struggle said a friend of hers recommended this book...i quickly ordered it and got it this week. it's a great recommendation! while it's kind of wordy and lengthy for young kiddos, it tells a great story about why santa is who he is (talks about all the charitable things st. nicholas did during his Christian walk and how he pleased God and loved children), and the story ends with santa kneeling next to the baby Jesus, which the title of the book suggests as the "special place for santa". one of our traditions is to give the kids a book every Christmas with a special message written inside it. this fits perfectly.

Oh, Mexico!

2010-12-21T08:19:00.008-06:00

We had an UH-mazing time in Mexico celebrating the love God gave our friends, Arlene & Derrell. As a bonus (as all weddings are), it was a great way to celebrate the love God gave Casey and me, too, especially with the scenery being the same as our Mexico wedding 4 1/2 years ago. Here are some pictures of our awesome trip. By the way, this resort was even MORE awesome than I remembered! If you're looking for an all inclusive, adults only resort, you've got to put this one your short list...absolutely perfect. We couldn't think of one thing they needed to change.

walking the beach at sunset with my husband

at the beach just after the wedding

view from my favorite beach chair

Erin, me, and Mary Kathryn after the wedding- thank God for great friends

Love

I tripped over this fella's tail on my way to our room.

Something very, very important is missing from this scene! Maybe He is showing up Christmas day?

at the rooftop reception

the gorgeous spa that was outside our balcony

next to the resort's Christmas Tree

A few months ago, as soon as Arlene decided Mexico was the destination, I strongly encouraged her to hire Ashely Wilkins (who is an extremely talented and blessed singer for our church's band) and her partner Micah at Double Knot Photography. I was amazed at their work and knew they loved doing destination weddings. I'll be stalking their blog at http://www.doubleknotphotography.com/ for the wedding pictures...they're going to be absolutely stunning.

Immediately after the wedding, Arlene said, "that was like living a dream!" and it truly was- s
imply beautiful. The most special thing was that she truly gave all glory to God through the ceremony; it was probably the sweetest ceremony I've ever witnessed. On our flight home, as we were flying over the turquoise waters of the Cancun area, the airline captain said, "relax and enjoy the view created by our Maker." There are no other words for the beauty of what is around us. Created by our Maker. It was honor to be a part of the celebration of two people our Maker created for each other.

But no amount of gorgeous resort, breathtaking beach, relaxing pool, fun catamaran rides, or delicious buffet could ever beat the three favorites of God's creation- our evenings at home putting our girls to bed!

Home sweet home.

2010-12-16T12:17:00.007-06:00

Love this reminder:

"The world needs Christians who don't tolerate the complacency of their own lives." Francis Chan, Crazy Love

I am in need of love, peace, and mercy that only He can give to me. I am so in need of Christ the perfect lamb, my refuge strong, the great I Am. So, this is my song and my humble plea. I am Your child; I am in need.

Tomorrow, Casey and I are headed to one of the best resorts in the Riviera Maya to attend some of our best friends' weddings on the beach. The resort also happens to be one of the resorts at which we stayed for our honeymoon 4 1/2 years ago. I looked through pictures today to get myself excited (even though I couldn't be more excited) about our trip!

So, here's a trip down memory lane. Can't wait to be in Mexico with my husband and great friends!

Me looking at our wedding site the day we left our wedding resort and headed to the honeymoon resort (same place we're headed to tomorrow!)

Casey checking out our room

The view from our room (may splurge on a massage at this spa while we're there!)

Beach!

Newlyweds (now, not so much!)

worry wort

2010-12-15T21:37:00.002-06:00

i am a self proclaimed worry wort, although i'm not sure if it is a worry "wart" or worry "wort". either way, i am one.

today on the radio i heard a preacher say, "worry is god's way of telling you that there is something you are trying to take control of that he never intended you to be responsible for."

wow.

so a little deductive reasoning of some things in my life that i continuously worry about led me to the conclusion that i full agree with this philosophy.

so tonight, as i tried on every swimsuit i own as i pack for MEXICO, instead of worrying about how disgusting i will be in it, i realized i am not responsible for my weight and god never intended me to try to take control of it.

wait, it doesn't work that way, does it?

rockabye sweet mailey james

2010-12-14T20:42:00.006-06:00

She's almost 6 months...

...and she's pretty much is identical to her big sister, Baylor, at age 6 months.

Me & Bay at swimming lessons when B was 6 months old (can't imagine giving MJ swimming lessons right now!)

She's sitting up, close to crawling, chowing down rice like it's going out of style, soon-to-be vegetarian, has an infectious laugh, and is loved beyond measure by all of her family. She's our Mailey James.

I went to see my dear friend Heather in the hospital today to visit her newborn baby girl. I can't step foot into a L&D room without being taken back to my three experiences there. What an amazing, miraculous moment- the birth of a child. It's just indescribable! Sweet Scarlett Grace was so tiny and so new. This is hilarious...on the marker board in Heather's room, one of her sons wrote (in the cutest elementary school handwriting) "Scarlettsintheglassthang". We laughed as we read it thinking it said "Scarlett sin" and someone cracked a joke that she's already a bad girl and that Heather better watch out. When we read it closely, we realized it meant she "is in the glass thing" (the cute little newborn bed in the hospital room). And that discussion made me remember the sweeeeeeeeeeeetest picture ever A friend recently told me that this picture is like masterpiece because of the moment it captures. I whole heartedly agree.

Anyway, praise the Lord for babies. What a beautiful experience He gives us through the birth and the raising of children. I'm so excited for my many friends (I think 10 or so right now) who are expecting soon. So blessed.

Baylor looking at Mailey James in the newborn nursery (photo taken by www.aandcphotos.com)

250 by 2011

2010-12-13T20:37:00.003-06:00

I'm so close to 250 posts, so I'm going to finish 2010 strong. Nothing reading worthy, just lots of recorded memories.

I'm a great mother ,and in the evenings, I feed my children ice cream sandwiches as snacks while I pack lunches for the next day. Oh, and before dinner time. :-)

So, today while the girls were chomping away at their ice cream sandwiches, Baylor starts biting hers in ways that made little shapes. "This looks like a moose!" "This one looks like a shoe!" "This is like a T.V.!"

I yelled from the kitchen, halfway paying attention to what she was doing but fully impressed by her imagination, "Wow, you're really creative, Bay!"

She smiled back and naturally said, "Yep, I sure am creative."

I asked her if she even knew what the word 'creative' means and she replied, "Yes. 'In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.'

2010-12-12T16:01:00.002-06:00

Me: "I just want people to see Christ in me."

Casey: "You should just want people to see Christ."

Something I need to focus on.

Whom do I serve? Self? Or Him? I can't do both.

"You're here"

2010-12-09T20:44:00.003-06:00

I'm so in love with this Christmas song by Francesa Battistelli. Can you imagine what Mary felt/thought/saw/envisioned when she was holding baby Jesus? Mothers can't put into words how they feel about their newborn babies; so how in the world could Mary even contain herself as she held our King? Love this song.

Hold on now, I gotta take a deep breath
I don`t know what to say when I look in Your eyes
You made the world before I was born
Here I am holding You in my arms tonight
Noel, Noel, Jesus our Emmanuel

You`re here, I`m holding you so near
I`m starring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
You could`ve left us on our own, but You`re here
Don`t know how long I`m gonna have You for
But I`ll be watching when You change the world
I look at Your hand, they`re still so small
Someday You`re going to stretch them out and save us all
Noel, Noel, God with us Emmanuel

You`re here, I`m holding You so near
I`m staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
They could`ve left us on our own, but You`re here You`re here
someday i`m gonna look back on this
The night that God became a baby boy
Someday You're gonna go home again,
But You leave Your Spirit and flood the world with joy

You`d be here, I`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my Savior, King and Creator
They could`ve left me on my own, but You`re here You`re here
Hallelujah You`re here Hallelujah
You`re here

band aids don't heal everything

2010-12-06T06:29:00.004-06:00

the girls have seen me get a few small christmas presents only because it's very rare that they aren't with me when i go to wal-mart and such. one day, baylor saw me put disney princess band aids in the basket. of course she asked for them when we got home (i don't think my kids are alone in the fact that they love to play with band aids, and suddenly it's fun to get hurt only because you get to wear a cute band aid!). "you'll get them christmas morning, honey."

a week or so later, baylor starts thinking about presents again as we are putting ornaments back on our tree (ornaments that she and her tiny friends meticulously took off one by one while their mothers were chatting it up in the our kitchen). as of now, i guess she thinks she is only getting band aids for christmas. "i'm getting band aids in my stocking," baylor told her friends. i said, "why do we get presents in our stockings, baby?" i asked, constantly trying to remind her why we celebrate christmas. she answered plainly, "because it's jesus's birthday, and he needs band aids." i laughed and then realized how she was connecting the two... "why does jesus need band aids, bay?" i asked her, wondering what she would say next. "because his hands bleed on the cross for us."

For God became a man and stepped into your world today

2010-12-01T17:37:00.007-06:00

My class read this poem the other day. I think it's so cute and wonderfully written (especially love the shift of focus and the double meaning of the word death).

"The Death Of Santa Claus" by Charles Webb (funny side note: After reading the author's name in class, a student of mine said, "I know him! He wrote a book about a pig and a spider who writes things in her web!" LOL LOL LOL)

He's had the chest pains for weeks,
but doctors don't make house
calls to the North Pole,

he's let his Blue Cross lapse,
blood tests make him faint,
hospital gown always flap

open, waiting rooms upset
his stomach, and it's only
indigestion anyway, he thinks,

until, feeding the reindeer,
he feels as if a monster fist
has grabbed his heart and won't

stop squeezing. He can't
breathe, and the beautiful white
world he loves goes black,

and he drops on his jelly belly
in the snow and Mrs. Claus
tears out of the toy factory

wailing, and the elves wring
their little hands, and Rudolph's
nose blinks like a sad ambulance

light, and in a tract house
in Houston, Texas, I'm 8,
telling my mom that stupid

kids at school say Santa's a big
fake, and she sits with me
on our purple-flowered couch,

and takes my hand, tears
in her throat, the terrible
news rising in her eyes.

My own experience of "the death of Santa" happened when I was in 3rd grade. My dad was tucking me in when I sat up in bed and pretty much begged him to tell me the truth. I didn't want to be played a fool any longer and just had to know the real truth about Santa. With slight hesitation, he told me the truth, but he assured me Christmas would still be just as fun without the make- believe. I don't remember being too disappointed, but I was pretty amazed that my parents could pull off the fake ringing of the bells every Christmas Eve to make us think Santa was in DCBE and on his way to our house (if and only only we were fast asleep in our beds ;) ).

Here I am, about twenty years later, kind of facing the same issue but only now I'm the parent. My days of Santa and make- believe are just beginning, and I never really put much thought into what I would someday tell my own kids about Santa. I'm finding myself in a position of anti-commercialism and even disgust with our culture's distortion of the holiday. How in the world are we to balance the teaching of the true reason for the season and the way our culture says the Christmas celebration should look like? You see, in my opinion, it shouldn't be a balance; one precedes the other one hundred times to none.

So how we go against culture and celebrate the one and only reason for the season? How do we turn this commercialized Christmas you see everywhere into a season of worshiping our God and His son while creating and enjoying family traditions? How do we teach our children that this holiday is solely about Jesus's birthday rather than some make-believe man who "sees you when you're sleeping" and brings you all the presents you could ask him for?

How do I decorate a beautiful Christmas tree in our living room, hang monogrammed stockings on our fireplace, display wrapped presents under our the tree, dress our house with lights all while AND in the same breath show my children that Christmas is not about us? I mean sure, we can adopt our angels and do a few acts of community service, but when you really think about it, isn't buying gifts for a few adopt-an-angels really just a futile attempt at saying you've given of yourself during this season when in reality you've spent more on your own selfish indulgences? Not to get all bah humbug on ya, but seriously.

What will Christmas morning look like in our home for the years to come? I hope lots of family. Lots of love. Lots of laughter. Lots of singing. Oh, and lots of food (especially our traditional Monkey bread). A simple celebration- not of gifts, money, or anything materialistic - but a celebration of our Savior's birth and the offering of our lives for His purpose.

I want to know, am I the only one who sees it this way? Am I way off base? Please enlighten me.

And regardless of a family who doesn't want to perpetuate the idea of Santa, here's a cute picture of two of our girls standing next to him in our flowerbed. :)

In a million pictures or less...

2010-11-30T17:19:00.009-06:00

...this was our Thanksgiving Break.

If you can't tell, we enjoyed every minute of it.

So beyond thankful.

So beautiful

2010-11-07T21:17:00.006-06:00

I'm sorry, but my Mailey James is just so beautiful!! One of my best friends snapped these shots, which are my newest favorite candids of my sweet, beautiful daughter.

My family was dancing and praising God in the living room this evening, and as I was spinning Larin around and around, I watched the unforgettable, incandescent smile across her face and couldn't think of anything but how beautiful all of God's creation is. If he can make my daughters so undeniably beautiful, and if he can make me love with them in a way words cannot express, how much more beautiful must He be and how much more must He love us?

Things that made this weekend so awesome:

*Watching Casey's little brother play his last high school football game (unfortunately he got hurt- keep him in your prayers)

*The girls sleeping past 7 on Saturday! A rare luxury in our household.

*An amazing friend's bridal shower.

*Visiting with one of my best friends at said shower.

*Date night with my husband Saturday night.

*Running into great friends on such date night and enjoying an unexpected dinner double date together.

*One hour of extra sleep Saturday night. (Which was much appreciated after our late date night.)

*The absolutely gorgeous fall weather that allowed me to wear a scarf (my favorite accessory) two days in a row.

*An invigorating worship service Sunday morning. (Whenever we sing "Our God is Love" by Hillsong my heart just rolls.)

*Baptisms at church (which always make for an amazing worship experience).

*Family lunch to celebrate my mom's birthday.

*Witnessing newly baptized brother in Christ leading his family in prayer at the table next to us during lunch.

*Walked two miles while listening to my 28 Minutes With Jesus.

*Baking decadent brownies and enjoying them with my mom and daughters for birthday.

*Dancing and praising God in our living room just before the girls' bedtime.

*Being so filled with the Holy Spirit that at this moment I feel so incredibly at peace. Bring on the work week! I'm rejuvenated and ready.

Life is beautiful.

go read these!

2010-11-04T07:30:00.000-05:00

Every book I read is a constant reminder of why I want so badly to be a librarian. I absolutely love to read- always have and always will. When I was younger, I was a book nerd (I remember telling my high school librarian that I wanted to be a school librarian someday and she laughed at me and said I didn't have the look- I still don't understand what that meant). Reading is by far my favorite thing to do. I also 100% firmly believe that if every child in school was a self proclaimed "reader" rather than the "I don't like to read" attitude we so often encounter as educators, we would have the smartest generation yet.

About the time Larin, my second daughter, was born a new book called The Hunger Games hit the shelves. Suzanne Collins, a very popular young adult lit author wrote the novel, and it was the talk of all my librarian classes. In fact, I specifically remember thinking, "oh, my life of reading is over for the time being...it will be forever until I pick up that book" because I was was still in the shock mode of the new life of having two kids in 12 months! Now, two years later, I'm teaching middle school again and was overwhelmingly surrounded by kids reading the now trilogy of Collins's best seller. After two best friends read and recommended them and numerous posts about them on the librarian list serv I follow, I knew it was time to dive in.

And I read all three books within six days.

I couldn't stop turning the pages of these awesome books! It has been a long time since I got into a book like I did these, mostly because my real-world constantly distracts me and limits my imagination in a way that this reader has never had to deal with. (For example, you're into an intense part of the book when a baby screams, "MOMMY!" Or you're feeding reading your book while cautiously feeding the baby her bottle under the supervision of your chin and turn pages with your teeth.)

The symbolism, the allusions, the imagery...all of it makes for such brilliantly written novels that ooze so much social commentary about the world we live in! I wish so badly I could sit down with the author to ask her specific questions about her beliefs. The thing that kept running through my mind as I was reading is that His love never, ever, ever changes. Through the ages, no matter what happens to His creation, His love will never change. His love still remains.

Anyway, if I write anymore, I fear I'll spoil something. But go read them, and when you're done, hit me up for some discussion because I can't seem to get enough of talking about 'em!

Halloween 2010

2010-10-31T20:05:00.005-05:00

It's hard to think that this time last year we had big news to share! Halloween 2010 has been so much fun! We've got two sisters snuggled up in their shared bed (one is sans paci for the first night ever) with candy-filled tummies and visions of car trunks in their dreams. The rest of our neighborhood is out trick or treating while the Oliver family is cuddled up inside watching the Rangers and relaxing after a busy weekend.

This story is just too good not to share...

My dear friend put me in charge of music- not sure why she would choose me since I am kind of unreliable when it comes to stuff like that, and I don't know much about music. I made a special playlist titled "Trunk or Treat" on my iPod comprised of 2.5 hours worth of kid and family friendly worship music. Our awesome sound guy set the perfect stage for trunkin' and treatin' all night long by blaring music through the outdoor sound system.

So just as all the trunks are ready for the treaters to show up, we're about four songs deep into the "Trunk or Treat" playlist. I'm conversing with another dear friend when I hear something I know for sure I didn't put on the playlist. The words "lil mama show me how you move it, go ahead put your back into it..." I flip out, knowing that the words to Disco Inferno would not at all, by any means, be family friendly for our miniature costumed guests! I see the sound guy sprinting for the speakers and I start after him, but we're both too late. The chorus "shake, sh-sh-sh-ake that %&$, girl!" booms into every ear in that parking lot! Somehow, in the most unfortunate "skip" circumstances in iPod history, my playlist defaulted to my regular library and since that iPod is 6 years old (have I ever mentioned the birthday on which I gave Casey an iPod as a gift and then pulled out my own and was like "I got one for me, too?!") and I have never erased any music, only added to it! So my good old 50 cent, which used to make a grrrreat running song by the way, was free game when my iPod went crazy and randomly chose any song from my global playlist on its own will! It was the running joke of the night. The only good thing about it (aside from the laughs it gave our trunk crowd) was that it was before any treaters showed up- so minimal damage in my opinion. Or am I just trying to give myself some much needed points here?

This whole incident along with my blond moment where I completey drew a blank forgot the name of a bible study member during a group prayer (an ALOUD), which I totally couldn't hide from anyone and ended up stuttering like an idiot - and if you know me, you know I never forget names - truly makes me think God is teaching me a lesson in humility!

And here are pictures of the two little girls who make skeltons look cute! And our tiniest little girl on her first Halloween!

Now, back to putting my nose into a reallly good book that I haven't been able to put down or get my mind off of!

2010-10-30T21:50:00.003-05:00

Because I never want to forget the moment my daughter first recited scripture for me, I am recording it here. AHHH of all the milestones in her life, it is this of which I am the most proud! Why? Why can the regurgitation of words coming out of a three-year-old's mouth make a mommy's heart jump up and down? Because I know that THIS is what it's all about. THIS is the one thing in her life on which she can rely.

One morning this week as I was getting her ready for school, Baylor said, "I have a special treat for you! 'In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1' ". She then flashed a huge smile, knowing it was definitely a special treat. (Just when I think I couldn't love Lakeside WEE School anymore, something like this happens!) Through the happy tear, I rushed her to her dad for her to tell him the same thing, fearful the moment would pass and she would forget it. Then, after seeing our delight in her knowing that verse, she spews out another one a few days later: "through Him all things were made John 1:3". Since then, she's we've taught her Matthew 4:19, and I'm going to make it a new goal to teach her a new one each week.

When Baylor wasn't around, I overheard Larin repeat John 1:3 quietly to herself (because that is kind of how Larin is- quiet and to herself except when she is whiny, and in that case, she has to show everyone who will listen her whine). I couldn't believe Baylor's reciting had already sunk into her sister's head! And then, a few minutes later, MJ said it, too! LOL LOL just kiddin'.

Praise God, glory to God, and all thanks to God for trying to steal my daughters' hearts. I'm just so glad I get to watch.

2010-10-24T13:33:00.003-05:00

Since August I've been planning an October surgery. Between August and October, it was a long two months of going back and forth and back and forth between the surgeon to the hematologist (blood specialist) to my OBGYN running tests, gathering paperwork, discussing options, even receiving a bag of iron via IV for four hours, etc. It's been a headache to say the least, which is quite ironic because on some days, this huge hernia caused less pain than that in my head (or in my checkbook HA).

There are so many details that are quite tiring and boring to go over. In short, I have a tendency to lose a lot of blood (hence the two blood transfusions in the past), yet I also have a tendency to clot (hence the blood clot in my leg). Both of these things are manageable in surgery, but definitely make it tricky to manage them at the same time- especially when going under and being cut open.

I was set for surgery on Tuesday (had plans for the kids, had a sub, Casey had off- it was all planned out perfectly). Monday morning, the office called me, and the office manager/nurse/go-to-woman over the last two months said, "Lissa, I just don't feel right about this. I dreamt of you all weekend. I thought about this all weekend. Something just didn't feel right. I believe in warning signs, and sometimes I think you should stop and take in all signs. So, I pulled your charts and had the doctor look over it one more time, and sure enough you are missing some necessary blood tests. You must have your blood drawn by noon today in order to run tests in time for tomorrow's surgery." (Side note: The fact that I was too scared about the blood issue overshadowed my opportunity to ask her if she was a believer, and here I am a week later still praying for her salvation if she doesn't already know Jesus. I wanted so badly to point out to her that it's not "signs" it's God, but of course I was distracted and in a hurry. Mistake.) So off I went to the hematologists office for yet another blood draw. We went to bed not knowing if I was going to have surgery Tuesday or not, but playing it' by ear when/if results came in. Tuesday afternoon, we found out surgery would be put off until Thursday after results were reviewed on Wednesday.

Wednesday morning came and I was back on the phone with my go-to-woman. "Everything is clear! You're ready for surgery!" I was excited and relieved at the same time. Finally, I thought. It's going to happen. A few minutes into our conversation she makes the comment, "You're the most risky patient we've ever had." Before this phone conversation, I had just prayed that God would put a stop to it if it wasn't the right decision at the right time. When she said this to me, it was as if the world stopped and I had my clear - very clear- answer. I knew it was God. I listened to Him. Then, all of a sudden I got brave enough to be completely obedient without reservation (regardless of how excited I was to finally reach this point of a confirmed date). I backed out and decided to change doctors and start this entire process over again after I've had to time to regroup and think it over more.

It doesn't matter the planning, plotting, appointments, scheduling, or even the amount of thought you put into something. It is out of your hands. It doesn't come down to just your decision or your desire or your determination. It's in His hands all. the. time. and for that I am so very, very thankful that He is able to protect me from my own worst enemy when I allow him. For whatever reason (and honestly, I don't care to know) surgery didn't happen this week. Although I don't think it was His way of saying "no", I know without a fact it was His way of saying "not right now, not with this doctor, and not under these circumstances". And why would it happen like this? Because He's God and He can do what he wants. HA, true, but I really think it's because of the amount of prayers sent up on my behalf and the support I've received over these last two months from my friends and family who care so much about something so little. I found myself asking just two months ago "Why isn't he answering? What is He saying? Why is He quiet?" In His time and in His way, and why would we want it any other way?

Proverbs 16:9
In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.

2010-10-19T03:44:00.002-05:00

I recently heard an analogy of a life as a Christian compared to the charting of a graph. If I got really honest with myself and plotted my growth as a Christian on a chart, I'd be completely ashamed by the number of times I plummeted over the course of my life. Although I remember my salvation experience at seven years old, I've spent the next twenty years going up and down my personal chart of spiritual growth. It's such a dichotomy because the closer I come to Christ, the more secure I am in His forgiveness and renewal, yet the more embarrassed and ashamed I become of the times in my life when I was at the lowest of lows on my chart. Living but not walking. Although I wouldn't call it "regret" because I am positive God used even the worst of times to fuel a burning passion for Him and make a new creation, I definitely feel sorrow and remorse for the people I hurt along the way. Casey's ten year high school reunion was this weekend, and I wasn't really looking forward to it because we actually have remained extremely close to our group of high school friends, but none of them were going. That night, I ran into two people to whom I owed deep apologies. One, a boy I was guilty of teasing as a kid (good old bus riding days when sitting in the back of the bus and being cruel to others was the cool thing to do). Another, a roommate from college who was the sweetest girl ever but for whatever reason we had an argument at the time she moved out and we hadn't spoken since. By the end of the night, after the spoken apologizes and the realization of how big of a fool I was, I was feeling pretty nostalgic for the past and wishing there were a time machine that I could take to go back and correct all the things I did wrong- mostly change the way I made people feel. Turns out, the worst mistakes I made were when I wasn't walking with Christ. How's that for reassurance? On the way home from the reunion with my high school sweetheart in the seat next to me and the biggest three blessings of our lives in the back seat, I had peace in the thought that He truly does make all things work together for my good.

This weekend our church celebrated its 5 year anniversary. I've been so excited for this weekend since they first announced the special service. We've only been with Stonewater for the last 2 of their 5 year existence, and I get chills when I think about what God has done in our lives and the lives around us through this church and even more chills to think about what else He has in store. Baylor and Casey, along with others from the church, held a sign on the road leading to the service site that said "better than what you could have ever imagined" which followed along with the theme of the service. Our little life, the one I have dreamed about as a girl- the husband, the kids, the house, the job, the friends, the family, the church family- all of it is better than I could have ever imagined. However, I'm having a real struggle right now enjoying my little life and ensuring I am answering His call, furthering His kingdom, and "making disciples of all nations". There are days I feel downright selfish and feel as if I did not do any of those things. I guess those are the days that would dive to the bottom of my graph.

Right now I am trying to saturate myself in His word, breathe in his Holy presence in every situation, and walk with him every. single. day. so that I no longer see dips on the chart, but growth in a way I could never imagine.

Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.
1 John 2: 6

"This is your life...

2010-10-09T20:57:00.006-05:00

...are you who you want to be?"

That Switchfoot song takes me back to the semester when I was just out of college and student teaching- long before we were married, way long before the merest thought of kids, and I was at a point in my life where I was looking from the outside in thinking, "I can do anything I want from here."

And then before I knew it, life happened. I got a teaching job, I moved, I got engaged, I changed jobs, we got married, we bought and remodeled a house, we got pregnant, we had baby, we got pregnant again, I changed jobs again, we got pregnant, we had a baby, I changed jobs again. WOW. So that's the last six years in a nutshell, right? I caught myself looking at my life as an outsider tonight as my three freshly bathed and super sweet girls were in my lap watching "Beauty and the Beast" (with the same wonder and excitement as I did back in '91 when my parents to me to see it in the theater for my 9th birthday). "This is YOUR life, Lissa. Don't close your eyes."

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose

There is this huge weight on my chest. When I say weight, I don't mean for it to sound negative; the only thing negative about it is that I can't figure out exactly what it is. It feels like it is going to crush me but in a really good way. I can almost describe it as a fire, a burning, almost a firecracker. It's been coming and going for the last few months, but this week it has been the strongest. While I'm not fearful of never figuring out what it is, I am pretty anxious to figure it out. All I know is that it is His, and I'm just waiting to see Him move, lift, or put on more weight; put out or ignite this fire; set off this firecracker into something extraordinary or something ordinary, just as long as it's His.

Casey has been at a church retreat this weekend. The girls keep asking where he is. "He's spending time with God this weekend, baby." To which Baylor replied, "But God is always in your heart!" Gotta love a girl who always tries to prove you wrong. Sign her up for the debate team. A part of me wants him to walk through that door tonight when he gets home with the exact answer of what this "thing" is on my chest. Something tells me that mommy needs an alone weekend with God to figure this one out.

I just have to share this snapshot of my last baby girl in our backyard. UGH her eyes, her smile, her sweet, sweet heart just melt my soul. This IS my life , and although it probably seems crazy and silly and absolutely unruly to everyone else around me, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

10:3

2010-10-05T19:55:00.003-05:00

I have a unique relationship with my Bible in the fact that I sometimes speak to it like it's a Magic 8 Ball. Of course, this is no trick I learned in Sunday School as a kid, but I can honestly say it is something the Holy Spirit has lead me to do many times since I was a young kid in Sunday School days. Although I have a close girlfriend who thinks I'm completely ridiculous to even practice such a Bible-reading technique, I can attest to the fact that I have in fact been lead me to verses in which I desperately need to read at that exact moment.

One of my Magic 8 Ball questions to the Bible is "today's date is X, so let's read X verse in the Bible." Brilliant, right? So, on October 3, I turned to verse 10:3 in numerous different books (for 10-3). All of them spoke to me in a separate significant way. When I hit Psalms, I flipped to 103 and found a prayer from David that put my heart on fire. Verse 17 says, "...but from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him..." The words everlasting and fear both resonate in me this week in ways that I'm not ready to blog about just yet.

So, quit making fun of me and go try this trick. Tell me how it works for you; I want to know what is spoken to you, too.

"a promise is a promise"

2010-10-02T08:00:00.007-05:00

When Baylor hit 3 years old a few weeks ago, a new season of tantrums started, and Casey and I have been challenged in a new way. I could write an entire post describing her drawn out fits, but instead of focusing on the negative, I'm not putting anything but positive thoughts around this little girl. I realized a major cause of these panic-attack-producing fits must be the lack of attention on my part. I'm afraid that during the extremely busy last few weeks, Baylor has been the one to suffer the most from my absence (and absent mindedness). So, last night was just for us. A "special treat" as we like to call it around our house. I took Baylor to the place I loved going as a kid- "The Promise" in Glen Rose.

The first day of October brought the perfect weather to see "The Promise" at the amphitheater. I splurged for an almost front row seat and had Baylor sit on my lap, which ended up being so awesome because I could wrap my arms around her squeeze her tight with my two free hands (not having to rock MJ or stuff food in Larin's face). The play tells the life of Jesus, and it held Baylor's attention every minute. Goats, sheep, camels, horses were just some of the animals she got to see, but her favorite was the dove that flew right in front of our faces when Jesus was baptized (after which she yelled, "I'm just so happy!!!" I could feel her excitement in her breaths against my chest when Jesus was performing the miracles. Everyone in the audience clapped after every miracle, and Baylor got into it, "I LOVE YOU, JESUS!" she would cry after each miracle. I thought I was going to have to give Baylor a play by play as every scene was coming on, but she seemed to recognize most of what was going on. She was super Satan spotter. She could find him anywhere on stage. "GET AWAY, SATAN!" she screamed at him. Everyone around us was laughing. She kept telling me that Jesus couldn't see Satan around him, and I told her he could but that he just had to ignore and defy him just like we have to. I think that freaked her out because she asked me on the way home if Satan was in our car. Just before the arrest and trial of Jesus, I told Baylor that the sad part was about to happen. I could feel her whole body tense up as they were beating Jesus, but the look on her face when he came down the stage carrying her cross just broke my heart. "Why is he carrying his cross?" I realized I had never told her that part- she only knew he had died on the cross; she didn't know he had to actually carry it up the hill. The coolest part was the resurrection. She knew what to expect from this because she's been reciting that story for a while, but to actually see it on stage took to a whole new level for her, I think. She was anticipating it, "here he comes out of the tomb!" and when it happened, she just jumped from my lap and asked if she could run up there to hug him. It was the sweetest thing! When it was time for the finale, she loved giving everyone their standing ovation- except for Satan. She didn't understand why he was allowed back on stage.

On our way out of the play, we stopped to say hi to some of the characters. We got a picture with Jesus as a young boy (she couldn't stop touching his hair) and the angel (she loved playing with her wings). We were right next to Jesus and Baylor became a statue. It was the first time all night that she was in fear (and I was worried about the Crucifixion). I think she was having a hard time deciding it was real or pretend, and she all of a sudden got very shy. "I don't want to take a picture with him, Mommy. I'm very sure." So we walked back to the car, Baylor staring at her program with Jesus on the front. When she got buckled in her seat, she kissed the picture of him and said, "I love you." When I told Casey the story, he thought she was probably scared to death and was thinking she better get her act in gear!

It the best date night ever with my little girl, and it was the perfect opportunity for some one on one time with her. I'm so thankful for her. For my family. For all the people who put on that production each year. But most of all, I'm thankful for the Cross. We are sooooooooo incredibly unworthy of a love like that. I am so in love with Him, and the cry of my heart is that Baylor will love Him the rest of her life.

3 month-old Mailey James

2010-09-24T20:00:00.006-05:00

I experienced one of those feel-like-a-horrible-mother moments this week, and of course it came on a day that I had a totally stressful day at work. I've pretty much been forced to eliminate a pumping session at work, which leaves me with pumping session, 6 oz, in one day. MJ eats about 16 oz while she is away from me, and our freezer stash became depleted this week, which left us with to abruptly switch her to formula yesterday. The director of her school e-mailed me around noon to say so far, so good. Then, when I got there at 4:00, her teacher said that between 3-4:00 it was constant projectile vomit and crying. The poor baby girl's eyes were red from tears and pain, and her poor tummy was as empty as ever. I put a phone call in to the pediatrician, whose immediate question was, "did you give her the recalled Similac?" Hmmmm....didn't know there was a Similac recall. I swear, not keeping up with pop culture has really left me behind in many social circles, and now not keeping up with the news has made me a completely uneducated mother. She was fine as soon as she ate from me and quit the vomiting as soon as we got home. We even managed to make it to our new Bible Study group without too much worry of a sick baby girl. Turns out, the formula wasn't recalled, it was just 2 months old, which apparently can upset a baby's stomach :( Like I said, feel-like-a-horrible-mother moment.

Which brings me to my next lament. Am I ever going to be good enough for these girls? Recently I've been feeling like I just pour and pour and pour and pour and I still see an empty cup. Why the neediness of Larin? Why the emotional breakdowns of Baylor? Why this feeling of separation anxiety every time I walk away from Mailey James? I just feel so unequipped these days, and every inch of my anxiety seems to stem from feeling inadequate to be these girls' mother. I feel an attack from the enemy under way, and I know that these feelings come from something impure and untrue. I'm just praying and praying my way through this rough time, and relying on my all powerful, all knowing God to do this for me.

I had a dream a few nights ago that we were in Hawaii when Pearl Harbor was attacked (surely this was in my mind because I have a student who loves to tell me random, intersecting facts about WWII on the way to lunch), and Casey was nowhere to be found. I finally found the girls on a gym floor of the high school (which I think was the place only because missing the high school has been on my mind so much), and for some reason we had to make our way up the bleachers stacked as high as they will go. They were folded in, so you couldn't walk up them normally, rather you had to climb up them (like you do when you're a kid and it's fun). Well, it wasn't any fun in my dream. I had two toddlers and a three month old in my arms, all of them crying, and a gym full of spectators who were watching me, but not helping me. I was thinking to myself that my only option
was to drop one of them because I just couldn't carry all three by myself. I woke up scared to death, and couldn't go back to sleep because of my racing heart and tears. When I told Casey the dream, he just looked at me like it was so obvious what God was saying to me, and I felt like the dumb girl in Senior English again who was the only one who couldn't interpret the poem the way the rest of the class and the teacher could, but then all of a sudden it hit me, and I felt like a complete moron. I love that He speaks to us even in dreams.

Anyway, this post was meant for Mailey James, so I'm going back to my original subject to write about my precious daughter, who is three months old as of today. She is the most smiley baby I've known! Smiles, and smiles, and smiles some more (even with her eyes) and even belly laughs already. We just love her disposition. She is my little buddy....she is easy, she is sweet, she is snuggly, and she is happy. Such a blessing to our family. She still has her blue eyes, and her hair is getting even more red. I have a feeling that whatever it is God is going to use this girl for in her life will include her easy-going attitude, and bright smile (and maybe her ability to happily handle being in room of two people screaming, dacing, and wrestling all at the same time).

"happy birthday to baywer"

2010-09-22T20:36:00.005-05:00

(this is what larin says even though it is HER birthday. this little girl has been one confused cookie today on her SECOND birthday! smile and tear at the same time.)

The first day of fall also brings the birthday of my second born who turns two today. I wanted so badly to wake up early this morning and go for a run in the nice fall weather and reminisce about this day two years ago, but an alert and hungry baby at 4 AM distracted me. Little Larin has been quite the jealous sister with all the talk about Baylor’s birthday over the last week; I think she thought her day would never come. She got to wear her little tiara to school and pick out the clothes she wanted to wear, and take her sack full of cookies to her class. Her grandpa showed up with even more cookies to her class later, so she was the popular girl today at WEE school!

Larin’s birth came at a time when Casey and I were still “new parents” and being thrown into the world of raising two kids had quite a rocky start for us. While she was as beautiful as she could ever be, Larin Elise really didn’t want to have anything to do with anyone but her Mommy, and spent the first 8-10 weeks of her life screaming at the top of her lungs and wanting to be held all the time. We’ve come to realize that it’s just part of her personality. She still our little whiny girl with quite an attitude and the daughter who loves to be held the most. She’s still a mommy’s girl, but is turning more into a daddy’s girl by the day.

Some of my favorite things about Larin at this age:

-She likes to add “probably” to the beginning of her sentences even when it doesn’t make sense. She was asked if her dad was going to spank her for something she did wrong and her answer was “probably no”.

-She thinks it's hilarious to hold up five fingers to tell people she is two. She throws her head back and laughs as if she has just told the funniest joke.

-She still craves being held, and as soon as you pick her up, she will gently put her head on your shoulder.

-She won’t sing anything in front of the camera so that I can keep it forever, but she will sing so sweetly when she thinks no one is watching. "Jesus Loves Me" and the "ABC song" are her favorites.

-Even though we haven't watched the movie Shrek in at least 3 months, she still asks for it every time we put a movie in.

-She loves to play with her baby dolls. Swaddle the baby. Feed the baby. Rock the baby. Kiss the baby. Sing to the baby. Hit the baby. Throw the baby. Kick the baby. Yell at the baby, "Chill, baby!" :)

-When she counts to 20, she gets stuck on the number 14 at least ten times. "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

-She loves to jump off anything!

-When her sisters aren't around, she turns into a completely different person, and we love watching her shine.

-She will randomly give sweet kisses to everyone in the family, even if she and Baylor had just had it out a few moments prior.

-She is and forever will be my sweet tooth buddy. I can already picture many mother daughter trips to get ice cream (one of my favorite things to do with my mom, too) for the rest of our lives. I hope we can eat ice cream together forever.

-When it's her turn to pray at the dinner table, she says it such a quiet whisper where you can hardly make out what she says.

-She can't make a decision for the life of her. When asked "this or that?" she takes forever to decide and immediately regrets her decision. She is just like her mommy.

WOW, I guess I didn't realize how much I had been writing. Today has been a really, really, really hard day for me, and it feels really good to write about how much I love Larin and forget about all the other things on my mind right now.

Happy Birthday, Larin Elise Oliver! We love you!

September 22, 2008

1st Birthday (2009)

2nd Birthday

eating ice birthday ice cream

Happy 3rd Birthday, Baylor

2010-09-15T07:30:00.002-05:00

I am sooooooo emotional right now! My oldest "baby" turned three on September 14, and I've been fluctuating between feelings of happy and sad all week! Baylor was the biggest surprise of our life, and she forever changed our lives in the best way possible. It's so crazy to think that even before we were made, God planned to give us Baylor someday, and even now as we celebrate her third year of life, he has a plan made just for her and for the betterment of His kingdom. Casey and I both feel incredibly lucky that we were chosen to play a part in this child of God's life.

September 14, 2007

September 14, 2008 - 1 year old

September 2009 - 2 years old

September 14, 2010

On her birthday, we woke her up singing the birthday song. It was dark, and we couldn't see her face, but her little voice came out of the darkness, "thank you for singing happy birthday to me, guys!" She was so excited to take ice cream sandwiches to her class at school (we stood in the freezer aisle for about 15 minutes letting her choose what to take; I would have chosen the drumsticks, just sayin'). She got on GREEN at school, so we were really proud of that! And two of her best friends gave her presents at school which made her feel special. Casey and I both left work a tad bit early to go pick the girls up from pre-school. We went to the movies to catch the matinee showing of "Nanny McPhee" (which was realllly good- such a great ending!) and then we went to Wal Mart so she could spend some of her birthday money from her great-grandma. We had separated the money into all 1s and taught her how to separate the money (give one away, one for the church, one for savings, spend the rest), and that little sweetheart even gave one extra to her sister! It was such a fun day, and we're looking forward to celebrating even more at her little party (which I need to get to plannin'!). September is a fun month because my nephew turns 1 on September 15, and then Larin turns 2 on September 22! So we'll be birthdayin' it all month long. LOVE YOU, BAYLOR BRYNN!

"...my cup runneth over" Psalm 23:5

"scooter booty"

2010-09-07T19:35:00.002-05:00

on our way out of pre-school today, baylor yelled, "goodbye, scooter booty!" to the sweetest old man who works at lakeside baptist church. i know that over the last two years he has grown accustomed to my children saying hello and goodbye to him as he is cleaning up the church after a day's business, but never before has he been referred to as "scooter booty". i ignored the fact that she had used the word booty and instead had to explain to baylor the concept of rhyming and that scooter booter would be more appropriate in the future. a few minutes later we saw aunt dayna, to whom baylor said, "hi dayna bama"- not quite a rhyme, but at least we're trying!

speaking of booty, look at how this girl can shake it it to the music of the coke commercial. she doesn't this get from her mama, i can assure you!

"I can't imagine life without You"

2010-09-01T19:32:00.000-05:00

Our church, StoneWater, has just released their new album "Yours is the Victory", and of course it's been playing non stop at house since we got it Sunday morning. I have to brag on how much talent God gave our church's praise band; there is truly none other word than simply AMAZING! I'm just so proud of the way God has used their voices and talent to glorify Him while making it so fun and REAL to worship Him in music!

And the girls truly feel their are rockstars because their little pictures got put on the cover. (The cover is made up of 100+ tiny icon pictures of members of the church.) Baylor loves finding her picture on it (and her sisters', and her MeMe's, and her K-Daddy's). Tonight, she was giving the cover a closer look, and she found a picture and brought it to show me, "Mommy, look, it's someone getting baptized!" Sure enough, the picture was a beach baptism. LOVE that she already knows a baptism when she sees it ;) and pray that the image sticks with her forever. Then, she pointed at a picture of a man on the cover and said, "I know him. He goes to StoneWater Church, but I don't know his name." I grabbed it to see to whom she was pointing, and it was Pastor Joey. I told her his name, and she replied, "Oh yeah! Pastor Joey!" like she thought she was pretty silly for forgetting.

Here is a video of them singing one of the songs from the album. Larin does more dancing than singing, and she even takes a break to cry because her Wizard of Oz PEZ dispenser (Larin had Scarecrow and Baylor had Dorothy) snapped her finger. And just to make sure Mailey James isn't left out of this post, here is a video of her trying to laugh and smile. She is so good at it when I'm not trying to catch it on video :)

2010-08-31T17:25:00.004-05:00

How's this for some recent awesomeness of our God in the lives of the pre-teenagers in my classroom?

Thursday: A student of mine writes an autobiography assignment for my class and includes how she wants to live her life for God in everything she does and asks for my accountability in my classroom (wow).

Friday: Two separate parents of my students wrote me letters describing their children's past in detail, including their salvation experiences.

Sunday: I witnessed two separate students of mine profess their faith through the act of baptism on the city beach.

Monday: One more parent writes to me about her son's dedication to Christ and how she has prayed for Christian teachers his entire life.

Tuesday: Another parent e-mails me to tell me that her son and his best friend (who happens to be another student of mine) both dedicated their life to Christ at the Fireflight concert last week.

Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. God, You are higher than any other. Our God is Healer. Awesome in Power.

Random Rumblings After a Hard Week

2010-08-29T13:21:00.007-05:00

Me: Where did my baby go?!!!! (I thought out loud, staring at my soon-to-be-three-year old looked back at me all of a sudden looking like a BIG girl)

Baylor: I'm right here, Mommy! (She teased while she cocked her head so sweetly!)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It has been one of those kind of weeks at our house. The first week of school is always crazy at a teacher's home (or I guess at any home where kids are in school but for a teacher, it's extra crazy). You go from all summer being so wrapped up in your own kids and then all of a sudden you're in a classroom of 50+ (100+ fewer students than last year!) of eager kids you will soon become wrapped up in. Add in all the other stressors, worries, especially when starting a new job, and you've got a recipe for a long, hard week!

I caught myself doing, thinking, saying things to my own children this week as the stress built each day. I know I"ll get back into my groove. I know I'll get better at this. I know this adjustment to have three kids at home and working will come (which, by the way, is much harder than I ever thought it would be).

I was cooking the other night (something I don't do too often, but when I do it, the girls love to be my helpers), and I was having to test and see if the eggs were any good. The sell date was May 2010 (see, I told you I don't cook very often), so I was doing that test to see if the egg floats in water meaning they were safe to eat. Anyway, Baylor kept picking up the eggs. I kept telling her no. She kept acting like she was going to pick them up. I kept telling her no. MJ started crying from the living room. Larin found the most opportune time to need to run to the bathroom. I felt the stress rising (I can always feel it come on). As I turned around to wash my hands, CRACK, and egg falls on the tile in the kitchen. "BAAAAAAAAAYLORRRRR!" I screamed. I didn't recognize my voice, and Baylor certainly didn't recognize the anger on my face. She immediately crinkled her nose in a look I had never seen on her- a mixture of sadness, fearfulness, and regret. But it was the look of ascertainment that broke my heart the most. It would only be a matter of time that she would use the same cacophonous voice and the same ugly look I just allowed myself to use when she is faced with a similarly frustrating situation.

Why is motherhood so rewarding, so exciting, so downright amazing, yet so scary at the same time? I hate moments like that as much as I hate looking in the mirror. I guess they are kind of the same thing in a way. My true self, the part I cannot hide, the part that everyone else sees, is right there staring right back at you. She is more inclined to be like me than she is anyone else in the world. Why? I'm her mother. I'm her first role model. To her, I'm it. And I let an incident such as the purposeful dropping of an egg allow me to slip?

I found zilch time to workout this week up until last night, and I allowed myself to over indulge in calories every moment I was given. I'm paying for that this Sunday. Sundays are usually the days I weigh myself. I don't know if it's the change in my schedule, the fact I'm on my feet all the time, or just the stress, but my hernia is hurting worse than ever (believe it or not, it seems to hurt worse when I don't workout). Combine both of those things, and my body feels pretty icky right now. So, I made myself get out and run last night in this awesome weather. Praise God for a break from the heat! It was dusk, and usually there are lots of walkers/runners in my neighborhood at that time. My Ipod plays loudly while I run, probably too loud in fact. Michael W. Smith's version of "Prince of Peace" came on and I found myself nearly sprinting (probably other people's version of a fast walk) and singing as loudly as possible to the song. There's a part where he goes, "Whoaaaa oh whoa whoa!" I was soooooo into the moment that my off key, out of breath "whoas" were probably a painfully horrible noise for everyone to hear. I didn't care that there was a couple behind me AND in front of me! I know God created that moment for me to just release some of the tension from the week and spend time with Him, even if it hurt other people's ears :)

"You're my Prince of Peace, and I will live my life for You."

first day of school

2010-08-23T20:00:00.003-05:00

my girls started preschool up again this past tuesday. it was pretty seamless; they love being at their WEE school. the olivers were pretty much summered out, even though we had the best summer ever. the only thing new about this year's school routine was taking mj, and she seems to be doing fine! she has the sweetest teacher ever (the same one who took care of lay lay in the newborn room), and we just adore her.

i took the obligatory first-day-of-school photo on our halltree. (here is last year's back to school blog). LOL. i just can't master getting a good shot of all three, can i? one screaming. one looking the other way. one making the cheesiest smile that she gets from her mama.

and of course, i had to take first day art work pictures. so proud of my little artists. :)

so, i'm officially moved down to middle school, and oh how i have missed teaching middle school! even more than i thought! it feels so good to be with the younger kiddos again. they're so sweet, so cute, so hungry (for knowledge, attention, love). it's going to be a great year. it's an indescribable feeling to know you are exactly where god wants you. one thing i've learned in recent years is that if you just listen to him and allow him to be in control of your life, he will put you exactly where he wants you. and for me, that's ams this year. reminds me of when i was in college trying to make "big" plans for a career in broadcasting, or journalism, or "settling" for even business communications. hmph. sounds ridiculous now. and they thought my crooked bottom teeth would ruin me in broadcasting. i was never able to ignore the deep desire to be in the classroom, despite the negative comments (even from educators themselves) discouraging me from the profession. it wasn't one day after graduating with a communications degree that i enrolled in a post-bac certification program and signed up for student teaching the following semester. exactly where i needed to be, when i needed to be there. even with my heart yearning and burning for my own school library someday, i still feel at peace and content with the path god las laid out for me.

did i mention that two middle school kids walked in on me pumping in my classroom the week before school started? nice. luckily they were teachers' kids, so hopefully they understand the kind of crazy that takes place during teacher inservice days. thank you, god, for hooter hiders.

you know what's so weird?! the kids in my class were born 1999ish. makes me feel o-l-d! worse, though, is that when i saw these munchkins come in my classroom, it made me think of my own mini munchkins at home. oh wow, they are going to be in middle school before i know it! a part of me wanted to run home as fast as i have ever run, and sweep them into my arms and never let go. tears are running a race down my face as i write this because i realize how quickly time is going to fly. and then i think about how i'll have a 6th grader, 7th grader, and 8th grader all at acton middle school one day. wow.

happy back to school (in my best billy madison voice)! i'll close with a sweet shot of mailey james before bed the other night (yes, she sleeps in her swing, but it doesn't even work right now, so at least she isn't swinging all night.) they are so cute and sweet when they are swaddled. little burrito baby.

you are my i love you

2010-08-21T14:15:00.002-05:00

LOVE this book. LOVE my babies. LOVE how i could have written this book for my babies.

for baylor who is one of the wildest children i know:
"i am your quiet place; you are my wild."

for larin, who is such a wiggle wart:
"i am your wait; you are my wiggle."

for mailey james, who has brought me to a new level of love in parenting:
"i am your way home; you are my new path."

for larin elise, my little sweet tooth:
"i am your dinner; you are my chocolate cake..."

for baylor, my girl who never wants to sleep:
"i am your bedtime; you are my wide awake."

and for all my daughters, who in their own way have made my walk with christ even more deep than i ever imagined and for whom i hope to encourage in their own walks for the rest of their lives:

"i am your finish line; you are my race. i am your praying hands; you are my saving grace."

2010-08-19T22:26:00.002-05:00

when you're in prayer about something, over and over and over, having the same prayer, but you just don't seem to get an answer, what does that mean?

i've gone to many scriptures. i've sought advice from many spiritual mentors. no one can seem to give me an answer. not even him. what does that mean?

i think about it constantly. i have dreams about it. is he telling me anything in my thoughts and i don't hear him? is he hiding from me in my dreams and i don't see him?

one night in the car, i was in prayer again about the very same issue. begging. pleading. surrendering. then he played a song on the radio that i had never heard. the chorus goes like this:

You have my attention
Like you've had all the while
Since that first day when you made my heart smile
With loving eyes and tired sighs that flow
You have my attention
Like you shout through an empty sanctuary
Speak but a whisper

after hearing those beautiful words, i then i came to the conclusion that i wasn't giving him my full attention. maybe he was in fact answering me, just not in the way i usually hear him.

this morning i spoke with an amazing christian woman who i am so lucky to have in my life. she asked me about the situation i'm referring to, and i answered that i just don't have answer. what does that mean, i asked her. she smiled and said she once heard a pastor say that sometimes no answer means his answer is that you have freedom. like a reminder that we have our freedom. i'm about to go search the bible for some scripture to back that up, but it seems like maybe that is what is going on with me right now.

and want to know what is weird? the artist's name of that song? copeland. the lady's last name who gave me that piece of advice? copeland.

did i just hear him?

back to the basics. prayer and bible. prayer and bible. he will answer.

no use crying over spilled breast milk

2010-08-15T21:34:00.005-05:00

a lot of things have been happening to me recently that i'm taking as a hint from god that the world doesn't revolve around me. he keeps whispering to me, sometimes shouting at me, that it isn't all about me.

have you ever realized how darn selfish we are? yikes. it's frightening, and completely disheartening, to think how much time in my life i've wasted worrying and thinking about myself.

for the past few months, my husband has been selflessly giving of himself to a woman from our church in need. instead of cheering him on and seeing his actions as inspiration, i've found myself griping (mostly silently) about how much he's been gone. what a great, supportive wife, right? i should be more focused on how much my man loves jesus and proud to see him apply that love by being the hands and feet rather than clocking how much time he is away from our family. it's not about me.

it's back to school time, and i've recently changed campuses, which i know has been such a blessing in lots of different ways, but blessings don't necessarily come to us without heartache. i miss my old campus. i miss my friends. i will miss my students. i will miss almost everything about the high school. it really hit me that the change was actually taking place when we went back to work last week. but, seeing the smile on the face of the new teacher who took my abandoned position and hearing the excitement in her voice made me realize that it wasn't about me leaving as much as her gaining the job of her dreams. it's not about me.

mailey james has slept through the night a few times, but for the most part, she is still waking up once a night for a feeding and cuddle time. sometimes, 3 AM is not a good time to mess with me. just sayin'. i found myself calling mj a toot and getting "mad" (as mad as a loving mom can be with her 7 week old) that she was awake and wouldn't let me sleep. i forgot about the fact that maybe this sweet baby was just missin' her mama and wanted some time alone with me. it's not about me.

today during church service, i was holding a sweet, sleeping mj. (i wonder how many times i've kissed her chubby, soft cheeks? i wish i would have started a count back on june 24.) we started singing one of my favorite worship songs, how he loves, and all i could think about is how overwhelmed i am by the love i have for my daughters. my sleeping beauty was on my chest, breathing the very breath that god gave her, and my heart was so full of love for her tiny, sweet soul. but that feeling, which is larger than life, could never be compared to how much he loves us. i am, and always will be, like a sleeping beauty on his chest, and he will, and always will, love each of my daughters more than i ever, ever, ever could imagine! how big is our god?! the plans i have for these girls are nothing compared to what he has in store for them. he created them with his perfect purpose, i'm just lucky enough to hold them for a while. it's not about me.

one of the perks of going back to work is how often i now get to use my breast pump! yea! kidding. actually, pumping isn't bad, it's just the consant worry and handling of my liquid gold. i was pouring some of said gold into a bottle and BAM, i spilled almost 6 oz of it. my heart sank knowing that my hard earned milk that took 20 minutes of my life to pump had just been wasted on the kitchen rug rather than in my baby's belly. infuriating enough to make me cry. but what about all the babies who starve from having nothing to drink? what's 6 oz compared to women who want so badly to breast feed or pump, but can't for whatever reason? it's not about me.

one of my daily goals is to always find a priceless moment of the day before my eyes shut at night. i'm adding another daily goal. always find a not about me moment of the day. it's got to be more about You and less about me.

open the eyes of my heart

2010-08-11T06:25:00.003-05:00

caution: complete randomness ahead.

when i was in high school, my family moved back and forth between phoenix and granbury TWICE. it's a long, long story. obviously, a sixteen year old moving away from the tiny town she grew up in and everything/everyone she knew was really hard. before our first move, my youth director gave me a copy of breakaway ministries many walks one road cd. i instantly fell in love with every song on it and no lie, i listened to it on repeat the entire 20 hour drive from here to arizona. the obsession didn't stop there. that cd ended up being my saving grace during the first few weeks of my new life in arizona. each song brought strength, comfort, and peace at a point in my life when i felt completely alone. well, now we listen to that same cd over and over and over. the girls have fallen in love with it just as i did 12 years ago. my brother was helping me load the kids into the car one day and he heard breakaway's version of "shout to the lord" and he said, "wow! you still have this cd?!" and by the look on his face, i knew that hearing the song took him back to those difficult days in our lives, too. here's a video of the girls singing the song "open the eyes of my heart, lord" from this cd. lay lay knows all the words, even though she wouldn't show them off for the video. she even turned down my fruit snacks bribe to sing it! ;)

i was not fully ready to leave the babies for a weekend getaway just yet, especially mailey james, but our best friends from high school were all getting together in new braunfels this weekend to float and have fun. it's become a yearly thing for our group. turns out, that yes while i missed and thought about the babes every minute, it was so nice to just be with my husband and friends, even if we did get rear ended on the way to the river! and two of our good friends had just got engaged, so we got to celebrate that together while we were there! my relationship with those girls has been blessed by god in the way that we can completely and openly talk about our walk with one another. turns out, god had some profound things to say to me through my chats with these girls on the river.

baylor absolutely loves the movie "the sandlot". it has started a love for baseball and boys, for sure (the later of which we aren't too thrilled about). she pretty much knows every line and will recite them when she's watching it. even when the movie isn't on, she will say lines like, "you're killing me, smalls!" when something makes her laugh. when the girls were reunited after our river trip (they stayed at separate grandparents' homes), baylor leaned into mj's car seat and said, "i remember you! oh sexy!" just like hambino says during the pool scene of "the sandlot". and so, her obsession was short lived, as there will be no more sandlot watching around our house!

i went back to work on tuesday. i've been praying for peace about this and god has shown up in a mighty way. you'd think i'd be stressed about setting up a new classroom at a new school, scared to leave my babies, and sad for the summer to be over, but surprisingly, all those feelings are almost too subtle to even notice, and for the most part, i'm at peace about going back to work. at least i was, until i made the stupid mistake of taking stuff to staples to be laminated (yes, we have a laminating machine at school, but i was trying to save myself some time/work in areas that i could). dumb me got confused and thought it was only .25 cents a sq. ft, turns out it was $2 and my total was $47! i cried in front of the copy center dude. and now my mind is made up that i don't like staples. in fact, not one thing in that store makes me want to say, "that was easy!" after being asked when my baby is due by the cash registrar and now forking over $47 for some measly laminating, i'm pretty sure i won't frequent that store again.

report card time

2010-08-05T13:47:00.006-05:00

teachers are cursed with seeing the world through a grading period lens. mailey james is 6 weeks old today, which in a teacher's mind, it's time for report cards.

Mailey James Oliver

Cuteness: A+++++ (cute as can be)

Sweetness: A+++++ (sweeter than ever)

Fussiness: C (luckily, you're just not that fussy, little foot!)

Spoiledness: A + (rarely likes to be put down)

Hungriness: A++++++++++++ (would you ever turn down a chance to eat? you could let up on the spit up, though)

Gasiness: A++++++++++++ (but i secretly LOVE the smell :) )

Sleepiness: A - (you take pretty good naps, and you can most of the time make at least a 6 hour stretch at night. i'll take what i can get.)

Teacher's Notes: MJ, you are quite the special baby, and your family loves you very, very much. We realize your first 6 weeks have been busy, with your two older sisters being loud every minute of every day, but hopefully you can feel the love oozing from your family every minute of every day. Your goals for the next six weeks are to get bigger, grow stronger, stay healthy, and sleeping through the night would be extra credit.

Lissa Michelle Oliver

Tiredness: B - (some days are better than others, but overall, you're pretty tired)

Irritability: D + (can be quite irritable, especially when you're over tired)

Patience: D - (something you pray about pretty much every hour)

Physical Fitness: B - (you're doing a great job of working out pretty much every day, but somehow you've only managed to lose 40 lbs....you have a long way to go in this department)

Happiness: A +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ (you're at the head of the class!)

Teacher's Notes: You've been pretty hard on yourself over the last six weeks, and this upcoming six weeks are going to be even more challenging, so brace yourself. Quit stressing. Quiet putting yourself in situations that create anxiety. Realize you don't have it all together. Be more thankful toward your husband who helps you far beyond more than any wife/mom could ever ask for. Enjoy every single minute, even the craziest ones, and know that this too shall pass. Most importantly, be still and know.

your mom needs to get better of dressing you appropriately for pictures. a bow would be nice! your sisters wouldn't even leave the house without a matching bow, and you've probably only worn one once! come on, mom!

you love being held by your big sisters

2010-07-31T10:22:00.006-05:00

i know we're way behind everyone else, but we just saw our first 3d movie. me and casey took baylor and mj (larin had the option to go to cleo's creamery for ice cream with her gampi instead of the movie- which do you think she chose?!) to see "despicable me". i can't believe i had never taken a newborn to the movie! it was so easy; she didn't make a peep. she just slept on her boppy and snuggled up.

anyway, the movie was super cute, and baylor loved it. the movie actually made me cry at the end! there were two characters in the movie (edith and agnes) who reminded me so much of our bay and lay, from their looks to the personalities!

oh and just in case i needed any more proof that baylor IS in fact her daddy's daughter, there she was cleaning up everyone's trash in the theater before she'd leave. without being asked. oh, such a little o.c.d. gal already.

side story: when uploading this pictures, mailey james' face reminded me so much of baylor's tiny newborn face! i went and found an old picture of baylor to put these pictures side by side to see the resemblance.

baylor at about 6 weeks old

mailey james at about 5 weeks old

side side story: on our way to the movie last night, we saw a man running on 377. baylor said, "what is he doing?" i said, "running. he is exercising." she said, "why doesn't he have a shirt on?" i said, "because it's hot outside." she said, "but how come you wear a shirt when you're running outside?"

"God loves a lullaby in a mother's tears in the dead of night- better than a hallelujah sometimes "

2010-07-27T21:37:00.002-05:00

i just love that line of the new amy grant song. in fact, i just gave those exact lyrics as encouraging words to a friend, who is a brand new mom, when she emailed me this week asking for prayer as she experiences some "baby blues". there is nothing like becoming a new parent and relying on the love from our father- the epitome of a loving parent.

tonight at church the congregation was asked to share testimony of what god was doing in our lives. it was so awesome to hear each individual story of god's fingerprints all over the daily lives of the people in our church. god knocked at my heart to share my own small story of something that happend just before service started, but he wasn't taking into consideration that during the entire testimonial time, i was breastfeeding little mailey james in the back of the church and couldn't very likely stand up to speak on the microphone with latched on baby (albeit covered up with a hooter hider). so, i'll share my testimony here while i'm feeding my almost-five-week-old in the comfort of my own home, sans hooter hider.

plus, i want a mental snapshot of how i saw my daughters tonight.

tuesday nights this summer have been something extraordinary for our family. we meet at church with some type of fast food in hand and enjoy a family dinner in the foyer of the church while listening to the worship leader rehearse for tuesday night service. we're usually the first family there and we get some quiet time together. if only every night we could eat dinner with eric singing to the lord in the background. it's awesome. well, this tuesday night was the usual. subway. two cranky toddlers. a sleeping newborn (ish). a worn out mommy. and a tired dad, stressed from the day's demands at work. after eating, the girls are allowed to go "watch" eric sing rather than listen. tonight, as they finished their dinner, eric just so happened to be starting the song "blessed be the name" which just so happens to be a family favorite that we listen to in the truck on an almost daily basis. the girls got so excited and ran to the stage to sit at eric's feet while he practiced it. casey and i watched from afar and smiled at their excitement. they ran back and forth between the stage and us, smiling and laughing and saying "he's playing 'blessed be the name'!" on the steps of the stage, both girls sang along to the lyrics of the song.

suddenly, all the trials of the day disappeared. my hand forgot all the hard spankings. my head forgot the endless aching. my brain forgot the rat race. most importantly, my heart realized that it had forgotten what was important amidst a busy day of being a tired mom. there we were, witnessing something so pure, so real, so innocent, so awesome. the simple sight of our girls praising god.

so whom do i thank? well, i could start with their dad, who has led us spiritually in the last year. or the church, who over the last two years of us going there has completely changed our lives in more ways that could be expressed by any words. i could thank our family, who has been there for our daughters no matter what. i could attribute it their amazing teachers at lakeside wee school who i know have been instrumental in planting seeds in my daughters. but all the glory goes to god for the work he has done in and with my husband, in our church, in our family, in the girls' teachers, etc.

"god just hears a melody...beautiful the mess we are..."

mailey james is one month old!

2010-07-24T15:56:00.010-05:00

june 24 - july 24 has been one crazyfun month! yes, i'm making up the word crazyfun. it means crazy as in hectic and fun as in beyond your imagination exciting.

in the last four weeks, god has been teaching me a lesson (or, in teacher-talk, an entire unit) in patience. i have a feeling i'll be learning this lesson for the rest of my life as a mom of three. my major anxiety and minor panic attacks are proof that he's been teaching me this through various situations since mailey james' arrival. just to name a few: patience for mj when she isn't sleeping as well as i want (which, by the way, i cannot complain about the 7 hour stretch she's making, i'm the most tired i ever have been in my life); patience for baylor and larin as they learn to be "biggest" and "bigger" sisters; and even patience for myself as i am eagerly trying to lose the last 9lbs of 45 lbs i gained during this pregnancy plus the extra 20 lbs i gained somewhere between my wedding and the first six months of our wedded bliss.

and how is he teaching me this patience? by revealing his patience with me. he never once gave up on me- even during the lowest of low points in my life when i wouldn't even acknowledge him or honor our relationship. he was patient with me when i wanted to be selfish or unforgiving or mean or even worse, away from him. it's amazing that we love and serve a perfect god who shows us the perfect example of everything we should be in life. and what is even more amazing is the love he has for us. as fast or as slow as the first month of mailey james' life went by for me, time is irrelevant to god, only that we choose to love and honor him with every minute we have. and to be honest, i feel like i have failed in that command more than one time during the last month.

8But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3: 8-9

during the second month of mj's life, i pray i am more patient with myself and others, solely clinging on to the promise and patience of our god.

so...at one month old, who does mj resemble the most? (notice she's our biggest baby! and if you didn't know, we gave each of our girls newborn nicknames based on what/who we thought they looked like!)

mailey james (a.k.a. "little foot" at 1 month old)

larin (a.k.a. "lil miss piggy" at 1 month old)

baylor (a.k.a. "little critter" at 1 month old)

2010-07-22T15:41:00.004-05:00

scroll down for a video of larin singing her rendition of the alphabet song ;) and then a video of her singing along with her favorite StoneWater Band song. we've got similar videos of baylor when she was the same age here and here.

i have to say how much i love and adore this sweet little thing we call lay lay. baylor has been at vbs in the mornings during the last few days, and i have loved getting to spend time with the just the little ones. larin acts so different when her big sister isn't around! when she doesn't have someone to talk for her, she has got some pretty funny and cute things to say herself. she is my sweet, sweet little girl with a side of sassy, too.

priceless moment of the day

2010-07-20T16:45:00.000-05:00

it's been a while since i've taken the time to blog about the priceless moments that happen on a daily basis in life.

baylor has hit the age of the infamous nap strike. i'm hoping it's just a phase because the thought of no naps from here on out just makes me tired and need a nap myself! whatever the cause may be, i just can't find a solution.

until today.

nap time is no problem for larin. in fact, she is the one who comes to me begging and pleading to go to bed. she loves her bed and loves to sleep. it's baylor who is scared to death that she will miss something super exciting if she sleeps. if i have something to bribe her with that will happen after nap such as "we're going to mcdonalds if you take a good nap" or "we'll go swimming as soon as you wake up" or "your daddy will be home from work when you get out of bed" she will usually fall for it and take a good rest. but in the last week, nothing from my bag of tricks works! 30 minutes into nap time and i will find her silently playing in her room or organizing her drawers or playing with her toys or reading her books or trying to wake larin up...anything but sleeping! the same fight will continue for up to three hours, depending on how long i'm willing to fight or until larin wakes up and it's over.

today was the usual story: "i'm not tired, mommy!" "i can't sleep, mommy!" "i'm done with my nap, mommy!" just a few of the excuses i'll hear her say.

the sure fire way to get her to sleep is usually to blare worship music through the house. it is therapeutic for me, too, as i am waiting for her to go to sleep. today, after an hour's worth of fighting the nap, i brought her to the living room and just held her. as she was in my lap, wrapped up in her favorite blanket, we listened to some of my favorite worship songs. i sang to her and she sang along when she knew the words. within fifteen minutes she was out like a lamp.... and i was lost in love. the answer was simple. she needed me. she didn't need music. she didn't need fighting. heck, she didn't even need a bribe. she needed me. and i needed her. i needed to snuggle my fast-growing toddler. my baby girl who is now a little girl. my sweet and sassy soon to be three year old who just needed me- all of me- for those fifteen minutes.

of course, my bliss was interrupted by the awakening of my newborn and other toddler, but i'm still thankful for that short period of time that god blessed me with a moment just for my baylor.

you see, it's been worrying me that each daughter isn't getting enough attention. it's really hard to be johnny-on-the-spot for every need at every moment. i think the two older girls have had a hard time "waiting for their turn" as i've been tending to every little need of mailey james'.

every day i learn something new.

conversations that make me smile

2010-07-19T08:15:00.004-05:00

i just love the exchanges that take place between an adult and a toddler.

on our way to church yesterday morning...

baylor: when we get to church, can i have a donut, please?
casey: no, baby, not today. those donuts are really just for visitors.
baylor: what's a visitor?
casey: a visitor is someone who comes to our church for the first time.
baylor: well, then mailey james can get a donut! it's her first time!
casey: no, actually, this is her third time to go to church, and she is too young for a donut anyway.

on our way to chuck e cheese yesterday...not sure what started it, but somehow baylor said something that made casey laugh...

casey: oh, that is so funny, baylor.
baylor: no, it's not funny.
casey: oh yes it is. i'm pretty sure i laughed.
baylor: (with growing attitude) no, actually, it's not funny. i said it's not.
casey: well, i thought it was funny. and you sure sound like you're arguing with me.
baylor: i'm NOT arguing, i'm just telling you that it WAS NOT funny!

in their bedroom yesterday, larin noticed my bulging vein and blood clot (it's really, really a sight for sore eyes).

larin: mommy have boo boo?
me: yes, baby. be careful, don't touch it. it hurts.
larin: mommy go to dr?
me: yes.
larin: bobby?
me: yes, dr. arbabi.
larin: mommy take medicine. you will feel better. no crying, mommy. be tough.

baylor watching (and doing) the jillian michaels 30 day shred workout dvd...

baylor: mommy, why she quit?
me: she isn't quitting, she just has to stop and teach the move to us.
baylor: she is a teacher?
me: yes, she is the workout instructor.
baylor: mommy, why you not do what they do?
me: because i have to do a different move because mommy's knee can't do that move they are doing.
baylor: mommy, you HAVE to listen to the destructor!
me: baby, it's still a good move i just can't do the same move.
baylor: no excuses!
me: thanks for the motivation, bay.
baylor: (out of breath after a few more moves) goodness! this is HARD! thanks for that motimation, mom.

though the sorrow may last through the night, his joy comes with the morning

2010-07-17T05:00:00.002-05:00

well, it looks like mailey james' jaundice streak is coming to an end! she went in friday morning to get her blood checked again for the bilirubin levels AND to run two different liver tests (in the event that her bilirubin hadn't come down, they'd have to make sure nothing is wrong with the liver). when the results came in, not only had her levels decreased, but one liver test came back completely normal, and the other test will be in on monday!

PRAISE GOD!

so what was the cause of the jaundice? we know for sure that mailey james inherited two antibodies from me that i happened to inherit during my blood transfusion after larin's delivery. these two antibodies do something to the liver that slow down the process of breaking down bilirubin. it's a prolonged type of jaundice, which is why hers still hasn't gone away at over 3 weeks old.

looking back, everything we've gone through with mailey james (taking her to the pediatrician almost every day, waiting on test results almost every afternoon, looking at her numerous scabs on her heels from being stuck with needles, the photo therapy bed, the one day of formula feeding due to the possibility of breast milk jaundice) doesn't seem like that big of a deal. i mean, it could definitely have been waaaaay worse. it's not like we just found out she'd have to have a blood transfusion, or surgery, or the unthinkable- cancer. so, i'm a little ashamed to say that this was even difficult for me because i know people go through much, much worse. however, when you're going through something, and it feels real to you, it's REAL. we've had such healthy kids, and honestly, this has been our biggest health scare. i know there will probably be many more health issues to come- that's just life. i hope what i learned in this situation will always serve as a lesson for me and guide me through any other tough times in the future.

there were two of nights in particular when i truly thought i was going to completely lose it. the first night was when we got the photobed for her phototherapy. the second night was when we found out that the pediatrician wanted us to switch to formula. on both of these nights, i dug into the bible seeking scripture and answers, but something was standing between me and god. i'm sure it was my own selfishness and that part of me that wants to do things on my own (oh, how i hate when that part of my personality comes out to play). i called out to some of my friends who i know would pray for me- and guess what- the mornings after both of those rough nights, i was healed. somehow god used the wee hours of the morning to heal my heart and answer the prayers, because when i woke up, i felt at peace. somehow, he reminded me to let the joy of the lord be my strength.

thank you to everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and meaningful words. we truly, truly appreciate it. mailey james is so lucky to have all of you in her life.

and now, some pictures.

going in for the kill

larin is such a little mommy!

strrrrrretcccchhh

ok, so maybe baylor has seen me feed her baby sister one too many times. now, she has become obsessed with feeding her own babies. "hold on a minute, mom, i have to feed her," she tells me.

this was the only good thing about having to switch to formula for one day: the girls got to feed their baby sister a bottle, and they loved it! sooooo thankful we were able to go back to breastfeeding, though!