speak. you have my attention.

i don't know how single mothers do it? if god takes casey away from our family, i don't know how i'll manage...i can barely handle 72 hours without him.

the last few weeks have been pretty stressful. some hours are worse than others, but it seems there's a morning rush, an evening rush, and a time in the early night when i lose all energy and pretty much crash. does that sound like anyone else? you would think doing this day after day after day one would figure out what works and what doesn't, but each day seems to bring its own mountains.

but i'm learning more than ever in my life while climbing.

during this busy season, it seems casey and i have been dealing with communication issues. i'll say one thing; he'll think i mean another. he'll say something; i'll translate it to mean something else. it's like we speak a different language sometimes. i wish i had a wand i could wave to have an automatic closed caption above his head when he speaks. but, here's the kicker. we both seem to have our priorities straight. we both seem to be growing closer to god on a daily basis. shouldn't we be growing towards god together? shouldn't our communication be at its peak? but it's the opposite. i admitted this to our bible study group this week, and i just know that it's got to be a form of spiritual warfare, so if you would please pray for us.

so tonight, while casey is a couple hundred miles away, i'm wanting to speak with him so badly. not speak to- communicate with. no closed captioning needed. where we just know.

but i can't. my good-for-nothing-phone has decided that tonight it won't let me be heard. i can text, i can receive texts, and i can even receive phone calls and hear the caller, but i cannot be HEARD. so my articulate husband who loves me so much for no reason just called me after getting the "i can hear you but you can't hear me!" text and leaves me the sweetest "live voice mail" that brought me to complete tears.

i think god wants me to want to communicate. want to be heard and understood. without closed captioning.

go ahead, god. speak. you have my attention.