enough!

i was brutally attacked by the panic yesterday...for no particular reason, just a bunch of different things came together at one point that made me physically lose it while i was making lunch for the kiddos in the kitchen. as all panic attacks are for me, it was an out of body experience where i could see myself from a different person's point of view. what's wrong with her? she is crazy! she's really lost it! she needs help!

it's summer. i have absolute freedom. i have nowhere specially to be. nothing specifically to do. i have a pretty much open schedule with endless resources to be with and enjoy my family, but I STILL lose it. well, i've had enough, and not one more minute of my summer will this anxiety steal. these words came to me during my morning run.


that's enough!
there's room for no more
literally losing
my breath (and sanity)
here on the kitchen floor.

that's enough!
it's a waste of my day
constantly losing
my patience (and grip)
over messes and noises or things that they say.

that's enough!
no more can it steal!
the reality is that i'm
missing out
on (my) precious moments that make this my life real.

HE'S enough!
and in him, there's freedom to be had!
this anxiety (over nothing) can never beat
the constant rejoicing and sharing and praising that transforms
an anxious heart- forever made glad.